The following blog was a co-created by a group of noble friends. :-)

“Even after all this time, the sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky.” ~Hafiz

Sometimes, miraculous incidents make us believe that there has to be a generous and conscious universe. On a beautiful sunny day in Berkeley, CA, Zilong stood at a crossroad with a big sign asking: "What's Your Smile-Age?" (Smile + Mileage). It was intended to remind drivers and their passengers to pause and smile.

After 40 minutes of holding up the sign, an old gentleman, Alfred, came up, and asked what he was doing. As Zilong explained the intention, and the community that inspired this activity, Alfred was thrilled, and said, "This is exactly what our world needs, desperately, desperately." He then opened his wallet, which contained nothing but decks of his "business cards." He handed one to Zilong -- the card carried no "business" information, but only the following quote:

"Our species can save itself from extinction only by becoming vastly more kind, compassionate, decent, and gentle, only."

Stories like this are often what inspire human beings to give more than we think we can. We are reminded of the interconnected nature of this world and the beauty of trusting in our giving. But what if we could create stories like this everyday so that it became the standard practice for living and engaging with each other?

On Saturday, September 6, twenty friends gathered to immerse our heads, hearts, and hands in exploring this question through circles of sharing, break-out sessions, hands-on experiments, and writing reflections. Many of us are experimenting with giftivism and generosity in different forms. One couple has been hosting weekly meditations and delicious meals in their group home for the past two years, another individual committed himself to giving a certain amount of money away everyday to projects that are changing the world, and yet another individual is an amazing mother that is cultivating presence and mindfulness around her daughter in the midst of her hectic life. At one point I stepped away from the circle to behold the depth and unique value of each person’s generosity was a gift in itself.

After beginning our day with an hour of stillness, Asha opened the circle with a reading titled, “Make Your Life Into a Giving”. The author writes:

“If your way of being is giving and your actions are only a manifestation of that, when you open your heart to give, grace inevitably seeps in…each of us can also make every act and every breath into a process of giving – seeing how we can contribute to everything around us, no matter what we are doing. In just 24 hours, we will be so rich that the experience of life, the beauty of life will set a glow on our face because that is the only way life functions.”

Several insightful questions emerged from the circle of sharing that followed:

Are we giving from a space of emptiness or fullness and how does this impact the energy in our giving?

Are we in right relationship with our giving?

How can we surrender to the present and trust in giving with no strings attached?

Is it selfish or selfless to be giving towards ourselves?

How can we integrate a culture of generosity and giftivism into mainstream contexts that many of us confront day-to-day?



These questions organically organized into smaller groups to dive deeper. In one group, Ari, Joserra, Deven, and David discussed how to shift the culture of an organization from “I” to “we” and instill the spirit of generosity as standard operating practice. Their conversation flowed seamlessly into our afternoon “Hands” activity, in which the group explored the topic of generosity with different business owners. David recalls:

"A couple of friends and I were passionate about integrating generosity into all areas of our life, especially our professional endeavors (e.g It was comfortable to be generous with friends or family, yet different to be that way in business). My friends Josera, Deven, Adrien and I decide to share this idea with local business owners. We had the intention to serve them in some way--we thought perhaps they'd be open to some physical gesture of kindness."

After venturing into two nearby antique stores and conversing with the owners about generosity, they then found themselves in a flea market across the street. David reflects:

The first vendor we approached was not comfortable speaking with us. In our group, we had someone who spoke Spanish, Hindi, Gujarati, and English, yet we didn't have a language in common with this person. We continued walking and found a stand that felt right to me. It was full of random goods, oils and a man was sitting at the back of the tent. This was the highlight of our experiment. We asked him what was significant for him about his business. Henry told us that it was most fulfilling when he could help people meet their needs, give them goods they wanted and have them be reasonably priced---it was the best for him when there was mutual understanding between him and customers no matter what they believed or thought.

Here, he was telling us that the relationship mattered more than the exchange. He told us how he valued connection, independent of who was in front of him or what their background was. I was so intrigued and touch by his presence and willingness to share with us. Henry then shared, that it was wonderful when he sold something and someone came back and sold it back to him-- He was engaging in an environmentally-friendly way of doing business, recirculating and part of something greater than himself. Henry was a father of 7, in his sixties, and he believed everyone should have access to what they need. The flea market was a way for him to make that happen through relationships and connection.

Here, a flea market was so much more than what it appeared to be. It wasn't a way to peddle goods, it was a gateway to this man's vision for the world. Such a blessing to witness this. Henry was already part of a relational economy and was so willing to chat. Deven then offered him a heart from the Gandhi ashram which he graciously accepted.

Henry made our days that much brighter. For maybe the world we imagine is already here, it just needs to be uncovered.

During the lunchtime conversations, another group organically formed around the question of self-generosity: Is it selfish or selfless and why do we feel guilty being kind to ourselves? A few folks convened in a corner and explored more deeply the themes that had been shared in the morning’s circle. And yet another group discussed the edges around giving, and the subtle differences in intentions behind our moments of giving.



As we finished a lunch that nourished our bodies and minds, we organically self-organized into various groups for the afternoon with a “Hands” activity: Experiments with Generosity. Some of us went outside and gave free hugs, others of us chalked inspirational sidewalk messages, left thoughtful notes in library books, wrote letters to ourselves, called our parents, made art with heart, or poured love into preparing a snack for everyone when the group reconvened. Rahul decided to offer “free listening” at a nearby flea market and ended up making a new friend with someone who had originally intended to be in silence that day, but when he saw Rahul’s Free Listening sign, remarked, “I was on a speaking fast, but I had to break it because you feel like family.” It turns out this man was visiting from out of town and had also been to Karma Kitchen Chicago. :)

As we circled up to share popcorn reflections on our “Hands” activity experiences, Rahul outlined seven shifts he witnessed in himself as he embarked on his afternoon experiment:

1. Resistance to Starting - not wanting to start until I reached Ashby Bart
2. Half Hearted Participation - Seeking to listen, but not being into it
3. Stepping It Up - Making a concerted effort to sincerely get into the activity
4. Expectation - Expecting people's response to me to shift like a light switch
5. Self Doubt - Wondering if there is something off about my intent or energy
6. Acceptance - Accepting myself and my intent fully, dropping expectations
7. Surrender - Connecting to unconditional openness and listening within

Diana had given free hugs and shared that she hugged a big, burly police officer. His response disarmed her: “Can I have another one of those? I sure could use another one.” It was a moment of deep connection, as Diana recognized how healing a simple hug could be.

One of the final activities of the day involved reflecting on an act of generosity that has moved us to the core, and to write down the experience in detail – including how it made us feel. Some particularly touching shares included how Asha’s brother-in-law orchestrated a fancy dinner in Chicago so that she could spend more time with her husband Rahul, who at that time was her long-distance fiance. Another friend wrote a letter to herself, vowing to love the “ugly” parts of her and be more generous towards her shadow self.

Sima brought “Because I said I would” promise cards and we all had an opportunity to reflect on a promise we’d like to make with ourselves going forward. Someone expressed the idea to extend our experiments in generosity with a group 21-Day Kindness Challenge, which we are currently engaging in now.

The closing circle ended with the opportunity for each participant to share a brief reflection that comes up for them. Powerful words and phrases, such as “contentment, wonder, growth, and deep appreciation for the love of parents, family, and the generous souls who had gathered for our retreat. As we took a few minutes in silence and gratitude, I couldn’t help but think how beautiful it is to spend a Saturday engaged in collective experiments in generosity.

It’s a good life. :)