One morning, we were asked to vacate the dining hall earlier than usual. I found myself walking to the entrance of the meditation hall just as the sun was preparing to make its appearance. The sun had risen billions of times over this spot. And suddenly, I realized the uniqueness of this moment. While there will continue to be myriad sunrises, never again was this spot going to experience the very first rays of 2016. It was the morning of Day 10. January 1st, 2016.

In that majestic moment, I was overtaken with gratitude. Gratitude for the awe-inspiring beauty of the moment. For every moment that has brought me here and for every moment I am to live from this one forward. Gratitude was a strong theme for this 10-day. By being “alone,” particularly during this festive season, I was with everyone. I felt deep gratitude for my family that both accepted and unconditionally enabled my absence over Christmas and New Year’s. My first Vipassana was at the same CYO camp during Christmas 2008, thanks to Viral, who seemed to stay constantly by my side throughout the 10 days. My gratitude cup also overflowed for the three ladies who have guided and supported me over the past year in the incredible transformation that is taking place. They helped me trust myself to build my pupa and to dry my wings and take off when I came out.

Three others learnings rocked my inner world. First, I found myself moving from force to power. Force is pushing, shoving, doing, with will towards a specific outcome defined by the mind. Power is trusting the heart, allowing the flow to guide each moment and being present to the journey. Coming from a place of power instead of force was surprisingly restful and brought me exactly to where I needed to be, even when it wasn’t what I thought.

Second, I experienced the greater equanimity developed through my daily practice over the past year. This is my first 10-day during which I have no desire to run away. Storms showed up. An entire day was spent blank. They came. And they went. Anicca. An incredible calm overcame me when I accepted my storms, when I accepted things exactly as they were, whatever they were. Yatha bhuta.

Finally, I may have heard the teachings of this practice three times now, I heard certain elements for the first time. One such experience was really connecting to the incredible simplicity of the Vipassana instructions. I had complicated them. “It cannot be this simple. There must be more to them.” “I’m not feeling the ‘right’ type of sensation.“ As if I had to create something or, as we say in French, go find noon at 2pm.

I came out a week ago and continue to relish the peace and calm created during this 10-day. The peace, ease and restfulness of going with the flow continue to surprise me. Yesterday, a friend found me lighter, more radiant. On Thursday, three prisoners I met for the first time expressed gratitude for my presence. Today, back at Donovan Prison, one guard asked me to come again and share my light. I am grateful for having created this space of self-love and exploration for myself. When’s the next one? ;-)