Choosing Life
ServiceSpace
--Xiaojuan Shu
3 minute read
Jun 27, 2016

 

Nature Walk
Walking through nature guided by someone who is attuned to nature’s whisper is a treasure. We draw attention to the small bird’s nest under the exposed tree root near the creek bank, the unknown droppings on a broken branch, the dried silk cocoon hidden in fallen leaves, the grain-shell pile near the entrance of a busy ant farm, the startled birds’ calling, and the occasional crow’s cry. They are all nature’s calls to us, “Attention, please.” How much unknown we take for granted at each moment! Only such a tiny iceberg we notice in life that we can only live in awe with a lifelong wonder of why and how...

Leaning against a madrone tree, I thought I would tell it my life story, but nothing comes out except tears. My shoes, shirt, jacket, and my body are all gifts. What did I do to deserve all these gifts? What is my truest story? As the old self constantly shatters and the new self forms and re-forms, the self becomes fluid and elusive, its shape and velocity forever changing… And it ripples.

The wild land opens wide in front of me as I stand alone on the hill covered with tall golden grass. The grass makes a soft bed under me as I lie down. I feel being held gently and firmly from beneath, and a great sense of relaxation come through my body. No more worries about ticks. The tall grass turns into tall “trees” for my eyes are close to the soil—the source. A familiar hay smell from the grass enters my nostrils. How much I enjoyed climbing to the top of the hay pile as a five-year-old! I close my eyes and fall asleep… I am home, again.

Dancing the Inner Child Out


I am at a dance camp. The large open pavilion by the lake is enchanted by music and free dancing spirit. Body finds its natural rhythm and pulses along with the collective heartbeat. I turn; I swirl; I jump; I walk away; I come close; I gaze; I close my eyes; I open my arms; I lift my foot… Faster; slower. If we truly dance, there is no separation from the soul self, from each other, from the under, or from the above… Dancing among radiant smiles, gentle gazes, and soft touches, I see the inner child in each of us reaching out to each other. Age disappears into the void.

How wonderful to be naked in the sun by the lake like an innocent baby in its birthday suit! With my feet touching the cool warm water, I feel refreshed and alive, but still, I need to learn to swim.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to me, everyday we are born, everyday we are free.” We sing in a large white tent, together. “The way to do is to be."

Choosing Life
As life and death dance in pair within us, each moment we go between sleeping and awakening, life and death. “Don’t go back to sleep,” as Rumi urged thousands of years ago. When we live soullessly, life is drained from us and we try to hold on to life by draining life from those who are in contact with us. When we come to life, we radiate life back.

I am still preparing, wandering, and wondering, but I do know that I am grateful for all the beauty that I am able to see. Living a soul-oriented life is my biggest service to the world.

(My understanding of soul is drawn from Bill Plotkin's Soulcraft

 

Posted by Xiaojuan Shu on Jun 27, 2016