Recently, my daughter's preschool sent me an email saying that they are organizing a field trip to a mall to go to a build-a-bear store.

My heart spoke pretty clearly when I saw this email.  I do not want my school teaching my kid to be a consumer or to connect with her peers through the purchase of a toy and compete with who will get the most stuff on the toy. It is an expensive toy. The whole thing felt wrong to me.

It should have been easy to just opt out.  But it wasn't for me.  I had to think about it and get the courage to opt out.  It was hard.  Why?  Because social convention says its better to "fit in," and there is this fear that your child will be left out that looms over parents, and it was looming over me  .  So when these little moments com, it is easy to  just do what everyone else is doing.

But in that choice, we allow the status quo to continue.  Society says we must buy stuff and that buying stuff brings you joy, but we know it provides fleeting contentment and simply the desire to buy more crap.  This is like a slow drug infecting my child's mind.  It has already infected my mind and I'm desperately trying to unlearn it.  I'm trying to unlearn it and instead connect with the beauty around me, within me, and with others.  I'm trying to connect with service, with gratitude, presence and choose a different path.

Yet in my quest for these values, I find it hard because I must break social convention.  I must get past these fears of what happens when my child might be left out.

But right after I made the decision, I felt a release and it felt great. That's how I knew it was the right choice for me, because it felt authentic.  I felt great because I will make a different choice to promote the values I do feel are important and that I'm not just being complicit.  I'm resisting in my own little way.

This is all to say that the path of the heart is not easy.  It's not easy lifting when we live in a society that is all about the head and profit.   It is not easy lifting when social convention says do something and you want to do another.  It's a uphill battle and we can't do it all.  

We all think these nice values s are great, but lately I've been thinking about whether I really live up to them.  And this pre-school example mad me think that perhaps so many people make choices because they want to "Fit in," or not be "Left out."

But no matter how little, these little steps matters.  If enough of us choose the path of the heart, the ecosystem will shift. And so I will pursue living the most authentic life I have and that means making little choices throughout my day that is aligned with my values.

And when my daughter asks me why she didn't get a bear, I will explain that we have many and I know she will understand that completely (at some point) and that this is how she grow and learn to be grateful.

My daughter so beautifully didn't have any issues of feeling left out.  She understood and moved on. No kid made fun of her either.  And she didn't even know what build a bear was.  So no issue there.  Also we gave the feedback to the school and because I have built a trusting relationship and did my own nonviolent protest, they are reassessing this field trip for next year. 

I just wanted to share because it's a little example that reflects something so much bigger.