[A powerful story shared by Nisha at last week's Awakin Circle in Santa Clara, where the weekly passage (read by Donna!) was on 'Recycling Karmic Trash'.]

Hi, my name is Nisha. An example that comes to mind for me is we were at a two-day community retreat in London. (We're visiting from London, and this is our first time to be at the Awakin Circle here. It's quite a blessing to be here). So, part of that day-long retreat was that everyone got a gift bag that volunteers had put together, and each person had to go out into the streets and find a homeless person to give this bag.

Now Anil, who's my husband, drives to work and he couldn't find a homeless person. On my commute to work, there were loads of homeless people. So I took this bag and went off to work. But, I just couldn't find any homeless person to give it to! And this bag became a bit of a pain to me. :) I would take it to work and end up back home with it, and then bring it back to work.

I wondered, "Where are all the homeless people?" I think about five or six days went on like this.

Finally, I decided, I'm not taking this bag back to work tomorrow morning -- I've got to find someone tonight. On my way home, I went into this tunnel and I found a homeless man packing up his sleeping bag and going away.

I was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on! You're not getting away -- I've got to give you this bag!" I've got to give someone this bag. :)

He was reeking of alcohol. He was totally [in the words of the passage] 'messed up', literally, let alone diving into the psychological state he was in.

I said, "I have something for you."

And he replied, "What do you mean you have something for me?"

"Some warm clothes, socks, winter stuff, snack bars. Would you like to have this?"

He said, "I want alcohol. Do you have something for me to drink? Cause that keeps me warm."

I was like, okay, the judgments kicked in. And I stayed with it. At that moment, I didn't listen to the conditioned voices that go on in me (the judgmental voices, which have a life of their own, they just pop up), and I allowed that to happen, yet I stayed with him for the being that he was, the life that he was: breathing, blood flowing in his system, having the need to eat just like me. I just stayed with those really basic human needs, which is what I have, and each one of us are in touch with those basic things.

I said to him, "I don't have alcohol for you, but there are goodies in here."

And he said, "Well, can you give me money then?"

I was like, Oh, this is getting difficult.

But then something triggered off in me where I just became silly with him.

I just said, "What do you mean you want alcohol? Look at you, you are reeking!"

And I just went from the pretentious compassionate way to just being authentic. I just said, "But you're reeking of alcohol, you're not going to manage any longer like this if you drink any more!"

He said, "But I've got a bottle!" And he showed me his bottle.

Then we just, I just started being quite ridiculous with him, in a loving way, and he just turned around to me and he said, "You're very different. You don't treat me like a homeless person."

I asked, "How do people treat a homeless person?"

They're nice, they feel sorry, and they gift things. And you're a bit edgy with me."

And I said, "It seems like you liked it."

And then he was like, "Yeah, I like to be treated like a person and you're treating me like a person."

And I said, "Well, I can give you more."

We just went on.

He ended up telling me all about his life -- how many times he got raped in the streets, how unsafe it is. He was a child of a teenage mother, etc. I ended up spending about an hour and a half with him. (Anil was going to call the police because I was running late. :))

I had such a laugh. I had such a laugh with this being. I will never forget him. His name is Darren. I call him my friend. I still have a mouth organ, which I owe him. I don't know where to find him, but he enriched me completely. I was touched. I felt grateful for everything I had around me, and I hold him in my thoughts, wishing him well. And I feel rich by that experience, even though I cried a lot when I got home. So yes, it does nourish. It does nourish.