December 21, 2024

Quote of the Week

"Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It's about hanging on during a very bumpy ride." -- Ron Taffel

Staying Close To Your Tween

"Parents often ask me how to get along with their suddenly volatile preteen daughter. It’s a shock when your previously sweet little girl starts tantrumming again. Eleven year old girls can be moody, over-dramatizing, self-centered, focused almost solely on friends, close-mouthed, surly, back-talking and condescending to parents. They can, of course, also be mature, affectionate and delightful, but at their worst they’re a cross between the most challenging aspects of toddlers and teens.

The bad news is that your tween’s developing body is flooded by hormones, her brain is rewiring, her need to discover herself and her place in the world takes precedence over the other things she values (like her family and schoolwork), and she probably can’t acknowledge how much she still loves and needs you, because she's working hard to feel "grown up" and independent. The good news is that if you can accept this new situation and adjust your parenting accordingly, the tween years are the perfect time to strengthen your relationship before she heads into the teen years."

In this week's featured article, Dr. Laura Markham offers her top tips for how to stay close to tweenage children and what changes are required of parents to support their children's journey through these seemingly volatile years. [Read Article]

Reading Corner

Title: Untangled
By: Lisa Damour
Stage: Pre-teen Girls

"This book was like having the black box inside a pre-teen/teenage girl's brain! It was so insightful and informative in helping me to understand all of the change my daughter is experiencing and what I can do to support her journey more effectively, without coming across at all like a preachy parenting book.

The author tells you when to worry if something is not normal and when not to worry, which is such a relief and stops you wasting so much energy second guessing yourself. Before I read this book, I often felt frustrated and after reading it, I felt empowered with knowledge and understanding and felt equipped to evolve my own parenting style to meet the needs of my child more effectively."  -- Trishna (Kindful Kids Editor)

A festive book suggestion for younger children...

Title: The Christmas Tree That Changed the World 
By: Cookie Claus

"Enjoy Spruce and Holly's adventures as they create the first Christmas Tree of Kindness, make new friends and change our world for the better...and just in time for Christmas! They may inspire you too.
Included at the end of every hardcover and softcover storybook is a blank tree with ornaments to add as kind acts are completed so you can start your first "Christmas Tree of Kindness" and your own "Christmas Tree That Changed The World"." - Publisher

Be the Change

As the article suggests, focus on strengthening your relationship with your tween. School holidays can be the perfect time to find ways to connect with your child whether it's by giving them a hug in the morning and/or taking time to chat about their day before they go to sleep, when they are least distracted. The more we can stay connected with tweens, the more likely they are to open their hearts to us.