November 16, 2024

Quote of the Week

"It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head - it is the unique intersection of both." - David Caruso

Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children

"Establishing respect for emotion is the most important childrearing task you have as a parent. If you and your partner treat each other and the kids with emotional awareness and empathy, your children are much more likely to enjoy strong mental health, stable, satisfying relationships, and a rewarding work life. Here are a few fundamental parenting practices that will help build your child’s emotional intelligence (EQ). 

Remember that you can’t convey what you don’t exemplify. Your children learn from you— through your actions, much more than your words. If you can’t communicate your emotions through your behavior, they won’t respect their own emotions.

Try to learn from your children. Children haven’t unlearned EQ as you may have. They make friends easily and retain their capacity for joy because they’re naturally empathic and instinctively ready to feel their emotions fully and then let them go. So, listen and learn; you’ll raise your own EQ and establish flexibility and mutual respect into the family.

Be on the lookout for repeating history. It’s a lot easier to instill fear of feelings in children than you think, even if you try hard not to. Write a list of things your parent told you as a child—you might even jot them on a piece of paper and put it in your wallet as a way of symbolically keeping them in your memory. When you’re tired and irritable, pull out that list and notice your own feelings as you read it. This reminder should keep you from shrugging off the warning feelings that arise when you start to utter these refrains yourself."

This week's featured article shares many practical suggestions for how we can cultivate emotional intelligence both in our children and ourselves.

Reading Corner

Title: Whole-Hearted Parenting: How to use emotional intelligence to create more peace, connection, and joy
By: Joshua Freedman
For: Parents

"The content of this book is spot on. There are so many books out there about raising children with emotional intelligence, but really it starts by parenting with emotional intelligence. There should be more books about that! Whole-Hearted Parenting is just what I wanted to help me in my journey towards parenting with, and raising kids with, emotional intelligence." - Amazon reviewer

Be the Change

Next time you're involved in an emotionally charged interaction with your child, give yourself a time out, as the article suggests.  Get out of your head, bring your awareness to your body. Breathe deeply and focus on what emotions are arising, continue to do so until you feel in charge of yourself.