When you are 100% positive there are underlying patterns within you that do not allow this positivity to hold on. This is what I observed as throbbing of negative nerve. When everything is going well you are surrounded by doubt, fear or depression without reason. There’s nothing to explain this syndrome. But you surely know that from positivity you are slowly moving towards negative thought process. That’s when you ride on this negative nerve and go from “surreal” to “sadial”(feeling pulled down or depressed). Then the whole fault finding exercise with others and self begin, the underlying idea is to somehow prove that you are feeling upset because of a reason.

Some days ago I was going through this phase and I felt too depressed for no reason or some reason whatsoever, that’s when I was reminded of two things:

First one: We are so engaged in self cherishing and constantly wish that the world should revolve around us and our mind is always analyzing what others are not doing to make us “happy” or “loving” us and that becomes the cause of our pain. This is a cycle of thoughts and doesn’t end till we change the thinking perspective. The practice that helped was cherishing others around and genuinely being grateful for the love and care received through each little act.

Second: Understanding and reminding oneself that the true nature of any self is positivity and joy. If you allow the negative nerve to take charge of your system you are paralyzed to this true nature. Then the downward spiral swiftly wipes of all self esteem and wee bit of understanding that we are all encompassing and one with source. The practice that helped was intensifying practices of meditation, prayer and silence. Holding on strongly to inner peace and joy and paying no great attention to negative nerve also helped balancing.

Apart from these two the third thing surfed up from an Awakin reading - The Act of Giving is the True Gift and some self search was about desires. We may be able to identify desires that occur on the surface and also try to satisfy, curtail or control them but then there’s a subtle desire of “recognition” . This is omnipresent and silently works its way in our systems. Every move we make or every breath we take, our focus is on “how am I being perceived/ or am I recognized”? The mind is constantly focused on being perceived and weaves web of thoughts around it. Most of the times this become the cause of rising of negative nerve, when this “web” is not “webcasted” broadly or when smiley’s/likes do not appear on our sharing and so on… The mind needs an excuse of being judgmental, critical and negative and there’s no dearth of it.

The practice hence becomes to observe the rise of web, negative nerve and let it pass and only dwell in love at all times. Flow, share and being love through the web will let it evaporate. It’s a process, a practice -- slow but sure.