It is the 1 year death anniversary of a beloved sister. There is a heaviness and sadness to the day and my body and head hurts. I feel I will get swallowed up in an abyss of sadness only I know about.

On that exact day when I was in a stupor and not answering emails or phone calls, I happen to see an email from someone I had not met before. Her name was Abha and she is a board member at Maitri. She says in her email that she doesn't believe in coincidences and that my name has come up a few times and that we should connect.

2 days prior Nipun had met Abha at an event both of us were speaking at, and Nipun suggested to Abha that I speak to her. Nipun later told me that somehow deep in his consciousness he was connecting my name to her, but he didn’t quite know why. At the same time another staff member at Maitri, the beautiful Zakia, also independently found me and approached Abha to connect with me.

Abha invites me to do a workshop on leadership to the Maitri staff. Maitri is a beautiful organization that empowers South Asian women in domestic violence situations & other situations of conflict.

By another magical turn of events, I’m available and have child care sorted out and can make it to lead a workshop with just a few day’s notice. They ask me to talk about leadership and connection to self.

Leadership is a big subject and so is inner transformation, so I was trying to figure out what I wanted to focus the workshop.

So I sat back and listened to the themes emerging around me.

Marie, my Soulforce partner in crime, is spontaneously heading to the Women's Congress for Future Generations. Flights show up for her. Housing works out for her. And she is now with a room full of indigenous women talking about the future. There was a seed planted in her that she needed to go and she followed that voice.

In preparing for my workshop, Marie says to me “there is a strong theme of women empowerment emerging this week for both of us, Poonam. It’s been happening all week to both of us.”

That’s it! That’s my workshop. I decided it would be about harnessing the power of the female goddess of Shakti in our leadership.

We had a beautiful workshop beginning with the inspiration that is Shakti. We talked about qualities of feminine energy vs more masculine energy. Feminine energy being one of intuition, creativity, flow, interdependence, and so many others. Masculine energy being one of short term impact, fast paced, independence, logical, amongst others….and of course, knowing these are constructs and we have both and we both need both. And don't forget the fierceness of mothers who protect their young. We spoke of the indigenous grandmother’s council, the mothers in Flint who fought for clean water, and Wangari Mattha’s revolutionary fight using nonviolence to plant 1 million trees—all who used their own feminine leadership to rise and rise and rise. They were not copying the male dominant version of leadership, but rather defining a new way of leadership that is really core to who they are. And turns out the women in the room had many examples they also could speak of in their own work and lives. We spoke of the Native prophecy that the bird of humanity will not take off if both the masculine and feminine energy of leadership don't balance out and both must fly in co-equal partnership.

The staff of Maitri were simply amazing. Amazing brave women who carry so much responsibility for other women in harm’s way. They have every right to be angry. Yet they were energetic, kind, offering me chai and hugs, and full of laughter and smiles and fierceness. I know they work immensely hard. I can’t remember the last time I walked into a room of 20 laughing South Asian women with bindis and head scarves and sat in a circle with them. It left me overwhelmed and full of emotion. The circle offered me so much healing for my own suffering and pain. I was so full of gratitude to be there, and it felt they were really doing me the favor.

Being a pretty practical, scientific, and analytical person, sometimes I believe this universe stuff is crap. Maybe it’s just confirmation bias and we make up these stories to make ourselves feel better. But last week’s turn of events just can’t be crap. Too many coincidences. It was just meant to be that I should be there.

How was I able to connect with Abha on that exact day? And for Nipun and Zakia both to have planted that seed in Abha’s mind? And for me to be available? And for me to speak to the exact topic I needed to really connect with to the group of women I really needed to be with? All in the same week of this devastating loss?

And I said to Nipun in reflecting about all of this, we just gotta hang on for the ride sometimes and what a ride it was last week.

In reflecting on all of this, my beloved sister must have organized all of these turn of events.... She must have been sending me this message:

“Didi go do work with organizations like this. Go support women like this. End violence toward women in all its forms—structural, sexual, relational, domestic. That is what the world needs and you will find your healing here in the service of others...."

I think she also said....

"Don't worry about me didi. I love you and I'm doing ok."