The start of Awakin circles in Surat was very serendipitous. Around 5 years ago, my parents went to a circle where Nipun Uncle shared stories of Awakin Santa Clara and forthwith my mom decided that she wanted to start this space in Surat. When my parents returned home they shared that with us (two of my elder sisters and myself) and we were quite excited about it. However, that excitement didn’t last long for me. Being a teenager I was more interested in going out with friends, playing basketball and chilling. Sitting for meditation, reading spiritual passages and listening to older people seemed difficult and boring. *A confession: there were times when I used to plan my classes, meet-ups or pretend to be asleep especially on Thursdays so that I could miss the circle*.
The good part was that none of my family members forced me to attend the circle. The decision of whether or not to attend was in my hands. Now that I look back, all the dining table conversations with my family of the inspiring reflections from the circles and one of my friend, Jeshika, who started coming to the circle made me look at Awakin circle in a positive limelight. Eventually, it motivated me to willingly be part of it. I must say I am not absolutely there yet, where I’d like to go out of the way to attend them and often there are times when I don't feel like joining the circles but no one compels me to do so, thus, I think it’s all good :)
When I reflect, I realize that there have been drastic changes within me and my environment (especially my home) because of these circles happening every single week for the past 5 years now. Sitting in circles I’ve learned how to cultivate the habit of broad-minded listening - non-judgemental seemed too idealistic a word yet. I’m still in the process of achieving that state because there are times when the preconceived judgments and paradigms come up but I guess I am learning :) I remember a circle when the passage was about how genius can flow from anybody. That was a moment of transformation for me. I learned that it’d be so wonderful to always have a blank page whenever I meet someone because Messiah could flow from anyone!
Awakin gatherings have become like a family gathering because everyone who attends shares with so much humility and vulnerability that it feels like they are a family too. Awakin circles are a sneak-peek into everyone's lives through their sharing, it’s like reading a new chapter of their book.
Whenever my mother is out of town, every one would bring portions of food from their home to share for dinner. On one such evening, someone brought a box full of brownies!! Knowing my love for brownies, one of the members, whom I would call my "awakin mother" quietly kept a piece of brownie in the fridge for me in case it got over before I returned from my basketball class. Similarly, many others showered their motherly love by doing the same and at the end of it, there were 5-6 bowls of brownies waiting for me in the fridge. No one Awakin has given me and I can’t be more grateful for it!
The circles have also taught me how to receive. Receiving so many hugs every week, so much love from the whole awakin family, so many stories and so many anonymous books, cards, plants, decorative stones and my personal favorite, desserts. There are times when we are confused about whether someone has forgotten something or whether it is left as a gift.
Moreover, Awakin has also opportune me to cultivate a habit of reflecting, holding questions and introspecting. Reflecting on the seed questions that don't have a single answer to it, I have started questioning things and being present to it. It’s like there's a constant ringing in my head “how do I relate to the notion” - which I think is a great habit to know what’s happening inside and outside. In this process, I noticed that every Awakin circle I would pass my chance - even when I had points and thoughts that I wanted to share. The fear of ‘being wrong’ which I wasn't aware of, surfaced. I have not completely overcome that fear, however, a step forward which is being aware of the deep-rooted fear that was unknown, is something that Awakin has given me.
Last but not the least, I am very grateful to everyone who initiated the Awakin circle, everyone who comes and fills our living room every week, their family members who allow them to be here and create this space and my parents who opened to me this new viewpoint of being able to see the generous and kind sides of people. Awakin circles have a huge influence in who I am today and I am really happy to be a part of it all :)
Posted by Kyari Shah on Jun 3, 2020