https://www.servicespace.org/ ServiceSpace is a global platform for generosity-driven projects. We leverage technology to inspire and empower people to do small acts of service. By honoring both internal change and external impact, we aim to support a shift from consumption to contribution, transaction to trust, isolation to community, and scarcity to abundance. en helpers@charityfocus.org (Charity Focus) Wed, 15 Apr 2026 17:36:16 -0700 generosity, gift economy, volunteer, nonprofit, inspiration, good news, service After three decades of work in the Federal Government, Colleen Osborne decided it was time for a change. However, as she was planning to start a new business, the pandemic hit. She contracted the virus and spent a month in her bedroom self-isolating. Colleen remembered it as a quiet time with space to connect with those tugs in her heart strings. She started attending some of the live calls hosted by ServiceSpace and, a bit later on, participated in the Laddership Pod. When Colleen came out of self-isolation, she saw there was so much suffering everywhere. With a deep desire to help, and, inspired by the blessing box in a church yard, she started the Little Free Pantry in her front yard. Initially, she was worried about what her neighbors might think and whether she can do that on her own, but somehow the suffering she witnessed during the pandemic cracked her heart open, and she shed those layers of being reserved and worried about what people would think. She decided to just focus on what she could do at that moment to make a little difference in the world. “One of the challenges is not letting the mind lead, but letting the heart lead,” Colleen says. In May of 2022, with the help of her family, Colleen found a folding table from her basement and placed it in front of her house in Denver, Colorado. Next, she brought food out of her pantry, put out an umbrella to keep the food a little bit shaded and protected, and made a sign that read “Little Free Pantry”. At first, it was really slow, as there were more people donating than there were people taking things. Colleen tried to get the word out by writing letters to churches and her city. There were rainy days and days when she and her husband, Hugh, had to run out and pick up the umbrella or food that was blown over, but they persevered. Colleen Osborne’s Little Free Pantry when it first started in May 2022 Even though it took a long time for people who could benefit from the pantry to know it was there, the pantry became a lot busier after it showed up on Google maps. Neighbors and, more often, strangers have brought donations. As time went by, Hugh built a more permanent and sturdy installation of the pantry by following instructions from the littlefreepantry.org website. Colleen has been surprised at how much the Little Free Pantry has influenced the community and wants to continue to spread the ripples. Many grateful people have shown their appreciation of the pantry in their own unique way, and all have moved Colleen as she was not expecting them. One woman had been living in her car with her cat when she found the Little Free Pantry. By the time she knocked on Colleen’s door, she had gotten back on her feet with a job at a doggy daycare and wanted to thank Colleen in person and let her know that she is doing ok. This brief encounter left Colleen speechless and deeply touched. She realized then that the pantry was making a difference. Colleen and her Little Free Pantry have also inspired other people to make a difference. One time, they ran into a gentleman who was about to leave a note for them in the pantry box. The note said: “I was driving by and I’ve seen your little free pantry. I thank you very much for the help, because in somehow or some way we are all having a struggle. You are amazing. I also took a book because my son is eight years old and he can read now. So if it’s okay, I may bring some books he’s read. I don’t live close, but when I do come I would love to bless others also. Thank you again – JT, God Bless.” Another powerful incident occurred within the first couple months of the pantry. Colleen received a $20 check in the mail from a Spanish-speaking person whom she did not know. Neither she nor her husband could cash the check because it wasn’t made out to them. Not wanting to shut down the person’s generosity by sending it back, she wrote a letter in Spanish, explaining that she couldn’t cash the check but if they wanted to send another one, here’s how they should make out the check, or they could just pay it forward. A week or so passed and she got another check in the mail from the same person. This time, it was for $40, doubling the initial amount. In an agendaless space of offering, generosity just blossomed for the greater good. “That helped me learn this lesson: Never get in the way of somebody else’s generosity.” says Colleen. What started out as her need to give back and make a difference blossomed into a community effort. About a year after the project started, a young man walking his dog said to Colleen and Hugh as he went past, “Your little free pantry is the best thing in our community”. His words had a powerful effect on Colleen. “It wasn’t just ours anymore,” she realized. “It was affecting people who weren’t even necessarily putting food in or taking food out. But it was affecting people who walked their dogs.” Colleen’s love of serving others was influenced by her parents. Throughout her childhood and adolescence, her family was involved in a lot of community efforts, mostly through church. Also, she remembers her dad always stopping when he sees cars broken down on the side of the road. “He’s a good mechanic, so he is always helping people,” Colleen says. “Those kinds of things infused my being.” Today Colleen’s father has also adopted the Little Free Pantry. “We all had to shed layers of being worried about what people are going to think. We’ve grown together in doing it,” Colleen reflects. “Everyone has become more open-hearted, generous, and more aware of the impact that one person can have in the community.” To Colleen, her work is not just about feeding people. “It’s about growing community, the sense that we are in it together. We can care for each other in beautiful ways,” she says. It fills her up to see others getting involved in creating little upward spirals of goodness. She thinks that every person can be the leader of global change. ”Look for simple things that you can do in your everyday lives, and not think that the solutions have to be from the top down.” Colleen advises. “Think about ‘what can I do that’s within three feet of me?’ Look for those every day opportunities to do something for someone.” A more permanent installation of the Little Free Pantry built by Colleen’s husband, Hugh Lately, when Colleen and her family walk outside to check the pantry box in the morning, it’s empty. The need for the pantry appears to be growing. “We have no plans to stop. This is something we’re just going to keep going.” On the pantry door, there is a sign that says “also visit the free community fridge” to help direct people to other resources close by. With the belief that “love feeds people,” Colleen wants to engage with people a little more, connecting them with other resources that are available, as she continues to serve people through her Little Free Pantry. ... Emily Chen https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=34286 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=34286 Fri, 18 Nov 2022 14:46:12 -0800 Alors que l'année 2021 s'achève, les rédacteurs de KarunaVirus se penchent sur ce que l'année écoulée nous a appris en voyant les gens choisir l'amour plutôt que la peur. 1. Les héros de l’ombre sont juste sous notre nez On nous apprend à regarder la scène pour voir les manifestations de grandeur, mais il est clair que les héros se trouvent souvent dans les situations les plus ordinaires du quotidien. Si vous entrez dans un Walmart tard dans la nuit, il se peut que vous tombiez sur le directeur d'un lycée remplissant les rayons. En Caroline du Sud, le directeur d'une école, Henry Darby, travaille de nuit après des journées d'école complètes et fait don de ses gains à ses élèves en difficulté. Allez courir tôt le matin dans le parc, et vous pourriez rencontrer une légende de la communauté. Le long du front de mer de St Petersburg, en Floride, Al Nixon est assis sur un banc sans prétention, se montrant simplement disponible pour les étrangers. Déposez vos enfants dans le bus scolaire, et leur chauffeur pourrait bien être l'un des plus grands dirigeants du pays. Lorsque Mike Mason, ex-patron du FBI et dirigeant d'une entreprise Fortune 500, a appris que le district scolaire de son comté manquait de chauffeurs de bus, il a trouvé son "troisième chapitre" en conduisant les enfants à l'école. Alors que Doramise Moreau, concierge, nourrit discrètement des milliers de personnes, Isaac Oduro, chauffeur-livreur, travaille 7 jours sur 7 pour financer une bibliothèque dans son ancienne école primaire au Ghana. Lorsque la violence s'est intensifiée dans un lycée à problèmes de Louisiane, un groupe de pères a commencé à se montrer dans les couloirs de l'école - leur simple présence a transformé l'établissement. Après avoir servi une modeste table pour une personne, une serveuse fond en larmes en lisant un mot laissé par son invitée, une veuve, la remerciant de l'avoir aidée à surmonter son premier repas à l'extérieur depuis le décès de son mari. En Chine, un moine se retrouve à s'occuper de 8 000 chiens errants. En Californie, la séance de photos d'une jeune diplômée mettant à l'honneur ses parents ouvriers agricoles devient virale. Au Royaume-Uni, un enfant de 9 ans atteint d'une infirmité motrice cérébrale est encouragé par ses camarades de classe lorsqu'il se rend pour la première fois à l'école. 2. L'adversité peut être une porte d'entrée pour la compassion Comme le dit la chanson classique de Leonard Cohen, "Anthem", "Il y a une fissure, une fissure dans tout ; c'est ainsi que la lumière entre". L'année dernière, nous avons été témoins d'innombrables moments de bonne volonté dont la luminosité trouve un endroit pour briller à travers les fissures des épreuves imprévisibles de la vie. Deux ans après qu'une famille a perdu son fils bien-aimé Trevor, 21 ans, dans un accident de moto, des milliers de personnes font des actes de bonté en son honneur, le jour de ce qui aurait été son 23e anniversaire. Au Canada, un autre accident de moto coûte tragiquement la vie à Nicole et Brent Keryluke, laissant derrière eux leurs deux jeunes enfants. Lorsque les proches sont contraints de vendre aux enchères la voiture classique adorée du couple pour payer les frais médicaux, des inconnus achètent et vendent à nouveau la voiture aux enchères, en faisant don de tous les gains à la famille. En Virginie, Robbie Pruitt s'est fait voler son vélo. Il en a conclu que le voleur en avait peut-être besoin pour se rendre au travail - une idée qui l'a incité à réparer gratuitement le vélo de n'importe qui, et il en a fourni des centaines depuis, nouant au passage de nouvelles amitiés. Après un accident de voiture en 2012 qui l'a laissée paralysée, Pan Jing a cru que sa carrière de danseuse était terminée ; mais aujourd'hui, à 34 ans, elle fait partie d'une équipe de danse en fauteuil roulant qui se produit dans toute la Chine. À Toronto, un groupe compile des boîtes d'amour pour les femmes en quarantaine pandémique dans les refuges pour victimes de violence domestique. Au Cameroun, des réfugiés ont transformé leur camp désertique en une forêt florissante. Plus récemment, en pleine crise afghane, l'internet a permis de collecter 6 millions de dollars en un jour pour aider à évacuer les Afghans en danger. De nombreuses personnes puisent dans leurs propres souvenirs de détresse et de transitions tumultueuses pour soulager les expériences des autres. En Écosse, la fille d'un réfugié allemand a offert une nouvelle maison à une famille afghane, citant la gentillesse et l'humanité qui avaient aidé sa famille à survivre lorsqu'ils étaient de nouveaux réfugiés. De l'autre côté de l'Atlantique, l'infirmière Tram Pham se retrouve à soutenir certains des dizaines de milliers de réfugiés afghans qui passent par la même clinique médicale où elle a été accueillie par des infirmières alors qu'elle était une réfugiée vietnamienne de 22 ans. 3. Les gens ordinaires peuvent faire en sorte que la nourriture et les abris abondent Partout dans le monde, la pandémie a accéléré les efforts visant à fournir les aliments et les logements de base pour tous. Des villages de petites maisons (et même de micro-maisons) ont vu le jour comme logements temporaires pour les sans-abri dans des villes comme Los Angeles, Oakland, Seattle, St. Louis et la Caroline du Sud. La première maison imprimée en 3D à Austin, au Texas, accueillera Tim Shea, 70 ans, qui était auparavant sans abri. À York, au Royaume-Uni, des capteurs de sieste innovantes ont même la capacité de surveiller les signes vitaux de ceux qui les utilisent et d'envoyer des alertes en cas d'arrêt respiratoire. Cette année, nous avons également été témoins de cas où des propriétaires ont ouvert leur jardin pour héberger des étrangers sans abri, devenus des étrangers, puis des amis. Certains ont étendu cette attention au règne animal, comme cet architecte d'Istanbul qui a commencé à créer des maisons pour héberger des chats errants. Une autre tendance qui nous a fait sourire à travers la pandémie est le déferlement mondial d'offres de nourriture pour quiconque ouvre sa porte. En Pologne, un "honesty shop" en libre-service propose aux randonneurs des fruits frais, des confitures et des jus de fruits, le tout sur la base d'un système d'honneur. À Assam, en Inde, une hutte de bénédiction invite quiconque à "prendre ce dont il a besoin, laisser ce qu'il peut". À Vancouver, une épicerie où l'on paie ce que l'on veut s'occupe des surplus alimentaires en offrant plus de 30 000 kilos de nourriture par mois. Un mouvement de frigos communautaires s'adresse aux habitants du nord de l'État de New York, de Philadelphie et de Miami. En Californie, une mère a créé un garde-manger sous son porche, tandis qu'en Caroline du Sud, un “petit garde-manger” nourrit 950 personnes. À New York, une femme qui a perdu son emploi dirige un magasin qui nourrit des milliers de personnes. 4. La joie de donner est contagieuse armi les innombrables histoires de dons que nous avons examinées cette année, une chose est sûre : la joie de donner est une force qui continue à donner. Nos cœurs ont été réchauffés par des histoires de personnes offrant des maisons à des membres de leur communauté, de l'employé d'un magasin de beignets à une communauté indigène. Dans la Grosse Pomme [New York City], lorsque les résidents d'un complexe d'appartements ont appris que la femme de ménage de leur immeuble, au grand cœur depuis 20 ans, avait été licenciée, ils ont rassemblé des fonds pour lui offrir deux ans de loyer pour un appartement. Dans l'Indiana, lorsqu'un livreur de pizza a commencé à avoir des problèmes avec sa voiture de 28 ans d’âge, la communauté lui a offert un nouveau véhicule. En parlant de véhicule, à Chicago, un DJ de radio s'est retrouvé à plusieurs reprises devant un jeune homme et lui a proposé de l'emmener. Après avoir appris que ce jeune homme de 20 ans marchait tous les jours pendant 3 heures pour se rendre au travail après que son camion soit tombé en panne, des inconnus ont fait un don collectif de plus de 8 000 dollars pour réparer son camion. En Caroline du Nord, ce qui n'était au départ qu'un couple invitant un ami du temps de l’université à dîner s'est transformé en une tradition consistant à offrir régulièrement et gratuitement des repas faits maison à des groupes de 120 étudiants, simplement pour le plaisir de casser la croûte ensemble. En Ontario, un sympathique employé d'un service de café au volant a dû abandonner ses études à cause de contraintes financières. Il a eu une surprise de taille lorsque des clients se sont rassemblés pour lui offrir des fonds pour ses frais de scolarité afin qu'il puisse retourner à l'école. Au sujet d’étudiants, une lycéenne en passe d'obtenir une bourse d'études de 40 000 dollars pour Harvard l'a transférée à un autre étudiant qui en avait davantage besoin. Des propriétaires d'entreprises ont remboursé les dettes d'études de 83 de leurs employés, tandis qu'un enfant de 8 ans a vendu des porte-clés pour rembourser les dettes de repas de midi de ses camarades de classe ! À propos de dettes, lorsque le Dr Omar Atiq, oncologue médical, a fermé sa clinique après près de 30 ans, il a décidé d'effacer la dette que lui devaient 200 anciens patients. Toujours dérangé par le fait de voir les patients lutter contre la maladie et payer leur traitement, il a fait remarquer : "J'espère simplement que cela leur a octroyé un peu de soulagement et que cela leur sera plus facile pour faire face à d'autres défis qu'ils peuvent rencontrer dans leur vie." Sur une note plus légère, à Rome, nous avons également vu le pape François envoyer 15 000 glaces aux prisonniers pendant l'un des étés les plus chauds jamais enregistrés en Italie. Et la recherche nous en dit plus sur la joie de donner. 5. Quand le désastre frappe, les communautés s'unissent En 2021, nous avons pu constater à maintes reprises que les communautés avaient le pouvoir de s'unir en cas de crise ou de catastrophe. Au début de l'année, lorsque la ville de Houston, au Texas, au climat habituellement très clément, a dû faire face à une tempête de verglas sans précédent, des plombiers sont venus de loin pour apporter leur aide ; le propriétaire d'un magasin de matelas a offert un abri à des étrangers en détresse, et un couple a hébergé son chauffeur de livraison pendant cinq jours ! Lors du tragique effondrement d'un immeuble en copropriété à Surfside, en Floride, des bénévoles (et même des chiens !) ont afflué de tous les coins du pays pour répondre avec soin et gentillesse. Lors de l'ouragan Ida à la Nouvelle-Orléans, des infirmières sont restées volontairement toute la nuit pour abriter des bébés de l'unité de soins intensifs aux nouveaux-nés, une salle de concert a servi des repas aux résidents privés d'électricité, et le même propriétaire d'un magasin de matelas de Houston a de nouveau abrité des victimes de la tempête, cette fois dans son magasin en Louisiane, tout en fournissant des camions entiers de matelas et d'autres articles essentiels. Au milieu des tornades dans le Kentucky, des aides-soignants ont protégé leurs résidents âgés des débris tandis que des citoyens ordinaires ont rassemblé des jouets pour les fêtes. Lorsque les inondations en Malaisie ont déplacé des milliers de personnes et établi un record de cent ans, les gens se sont mobilisés de tous les coins pour apporter leur aide, y compris un couple de jeunes mariés qui a offert le festin de leur banquet de mariage annulé aux victimes des inondations. 6. Les affaires et le travail vont au-delà du résultat net L'année 2021 a été le témoin d'une série de changements dans la façon dont nous travaillons et faisons des affaires. Outre l'inflation et les vagues de "grande démission", nous avons vu de nombreuses entreprises et États américains augmenter leur salaire minimum à tour de bras : d'Unilever à Costco, de T-Mobile à Walgreens, et même un marchand de glaces. En outre, les recherches sur le bien-être et la santé mentale sont devenues monnaie courante : des entreprises de Nouvelle-Zélande, du Royaume-Uni, d'Écosse, d'Islande, d'Espagne, du Canada, du Japon et des Émirats arabes unis ont expérimenté la semaine de quatre jours. Le travail à distance devenant un pilier dans de nombreux domaines, le Portugal a interdit aux patrons d'envoyer des SMS à leurs employés en dehors des heures de travail. Et un fabricant de boissons japonais espère stimuler la camaraderie et le moral des employés en offrant un distributeur gratuit de boissons lorsque deux employés scannent leur carte d'identité en même temps. L'humanité a également brillé dans de nombreuses entreprises. Le PDG du détaillant de cosmétiques Lush a volontiers fermé plusieurs comptes de médias sociaux (une mesure qui, selon les estimations, a fait perdre 13,3 millions de dollars à l'entreprise) après que des dénonciateurs ont révélé des recherches menées par Facebook sur leurs effets négatifs sur la santé mentale des adolescents. À Bunbury, en Australie, la construction d'un parc aquatique a été interrompue pour laisser les oiseaux éclore après la découverte d'un nid d'huîtriers multicolores sur le site. En Californie, lorsque quelqu'un a volé 1000 $ dans un restaurant chinois pendant une panne de courant, la communauté à flanc de montagne a collecté cinq fois le montant perdu pour le rendre à son restaurant bien-aimé. Aux Pays-Bas, en réponse aux 1,3 million de personnes âgées de plus de 75 ans qui déclarent se sentir régulièrement seules, 200 supermarchés Jumbo ont mis en place une nouvelle option de caisse appelée "Kletskassa" ("Chat Checkout") afin d'offrir aux clients isolés un espace où ils peuvent discuter tranquillement tout en faisant leurs courses. 7. Le sport, c'est bien plus qu'un sujet de victoire Cette année a également été le témoin de quelques moments d'humanité frappants lors des Jeux olympiques de 2020, attendus depuis longtemps et retardés d'un an - un reflet, peut-être, de l'esprit de sportivité qui monte en flèche chez les athlètes d'aujourd'hui. Parmi les moments forts des JO de Tokyo, des sauteurs en hauteur, du Qatar et d'Italie, qui sont aussi des amis, se partagent l'or au lieu d'opter pour un barrage. "Cela va au-delà du sport. C'est le message que nous transmettons à la jeune génération", a déclaré Mutaz Essa Barshim, du Qatar, après avoir remporté conjointement l'une des finales de saut en hauteur les plus disputées de l'histoire. Une lanceuse de javelot polonaise a vendu aux enchères sa médaille d'argent pour aider un enfant à se faire opérer du cœur, avant de se la faire rendre par la chaîne de supermarchés qui l'avait achetée et avait fait don des fonds pour l'opération du bébé. Alors que le plongeur britannique Tom Daley tricotait dans les tribunes pour une association de lutte contre les tumeurs cérébrales en mémoire de son père, le coureur de haies jamaïcain Hansle Parchment a remercié le bénévole qui a payé son taxi pour arriver à temps pour sa course. Un autre article résume la façon dont un surfeur s'est mis à traduire pour le rival qui l'a battu, dont deux coureurs adverses se sont aidés à franchir la ligne d'arrivée après être tombés, et dont des athlètes concurrents ont été aperçus en train de s'encourager et de se consoler mutuellement. Au-delà des pros, des héros de tous les jours nous ont inspirés par leurs brillants actes de résilience, de courage et de cœur. Après être devenue légalement aveugle suite à son combat contre le Covid, Laura Sosalla a couru le marathon de Twin Cities avec quatre coureurs guides. Au hockey récréatif, un gardien de but aveugle a aidé son équipe à gagner 9-8. Dans les sports de lycée, une équipe de football de sourds a conquis les cœurs avec sa saison historique, sans défaite, avant les championnats de l'État de Californie. Lorsqu'un coureur adolescent s'est effondré dans une course de cross-country, un coureur de l'équipe adverse s'est arrêté pour l'aider, renonçant à ses propres chances de se qualifier. Dans le sport universitaire, après avoir gagné un match pour l'université d'État de Wichita, un junior est resté pour aider les concierges à nettoyer les tribunes. Et, après que l'entraîneur de football des Michigan Wolverines ait reçu une prime de 500 000 dollars pour le titre de champion de l'Est du Big Ten cette année, il l'a donnée à tous les employés du département des sports qui avaient subi une réduction de salaire au début de la pandémie. C'était aussi une année révolutionnaire pour les femmes dans le sport. Aux Jeux olympiques, Sarah Gamal -- est devenue la première femme arabe et africaine arbitre de basket-ball. En janvier, Sarah Thomas est devenue la première femme à officier lors du Super Bowl. Dans le football américain universitaire, une tireuse au but est acclamée par ses coéquipiers (exclusivement masculins) lorsqu'elle apprend qu'elle a obtenu une bourse d'études surprise en football. Dans le domaine du hockey, Taya Currie est devenue la première joueuse repêchée dans la Ligue de hockey de l'Ontario. Et au stade de baseball des New York Yankees, une femme de 70 ans est devenue batteuse soixante ans après que sa demande, lorsqu'elle était enfant, ait été rejetée par une lettre du directeur de l'équipe déclarant : "une jeune femme comme vous ne se sentirait pas à sa place dans un bunker". 8. Partout, les gens accueillent les étrangers comme des membres de la famille Malgré des polarités omniprésentes, il y a partout encore des gens qui accueillent les étrangers comme des amis et des membres de la famille. Au Canada, une émission de télévision populaire a réuni plus de 50 politiciens de différents bords de l'échiquier politique dans le cadre de "Rendez-vous Politiques à l'Aveugle". Au milieu des tirs de roquettes dans les rues de Gaza en mai, les médecins des hôpitaux arabes et juifs ont continué à travailler avec solidarité. Lorsqu'un infirmier arabe a vu un homme juif allongé sur le sol après avoir été attaqué par une foule, il lui a immédiatement prodigué les premiers soins et l'a amené à l'hôpital. Bien plus loin, dans l'Oklahoma, une adolescente qui s'identifie comme étant juive a apporté 80 dollars à une mosquée locale, demandant à l'imam de les utiliser pour aider les Palestiniens, avec le message suivant : "Je veux que vous leur disiez que cela vient d'une jeune fille juive qui a travaillé toute la semaine en faisant du baby-sitting. Et que nous les aimons et ressentons leur douleur." Même dans les transactions commerciales et les rencontres quotidiennes, les possibilités jaillissent lorsqu'on est à l'écoute du pouls de nos interconnexions. Lorsqu'un patient de longue date du Covid-19 prit du retard dans le paiement de son loyer, son propriétaire, qui est aussi une mère célibataire, est intervenu pour l'aider, déclarant simplement : "On ne peut pas l'expulser. Il est malade. Il n'irait pas bien". En Ontario, au Canada, un propriétaire a accepté l'offre la plus basse lors de la vente de sa maison après avoir pris connaissance de l'histoire de sa famille et s'être souvenu des actes de grâce des étrangers à son égard dans les moments difficiles. "Nous ne savons pas comment la vie nous traitera dans 10, 15 ou 20 ans. Alors la meilleure chose à faire est de bien la vivre aujourd'hui", a-t-il déclaré. À Hawaï, un propriétaire d'entreprise a engagé l'homme apologétique qui l'avait volé. À Belfast, en Irlande, un chauffeur de bus a fait un détour pour déposer une femme dans une maison de retraite afin qu'elle puisse rendre visite à sa mère. Le jour de ce qui aurait été le 35e anniversaire de son fils, une mère a payé le gâteau d'anniversaire d'un inconnu. À Los Angeles, d'anciens patients sous chimiothérapie écrivent des lettres pour apporter du réconfort aux nouveaux patients qui doivent recevoir le traitement seuls en raison des précautions prises par les hôpitaux à cause de la pandémie. En France, un cheval de 15 ans, Peyo, réconforte les malades du cancer dans les couloirs de l'hôpital. Aux Pays-Bas, un conducteur a sacrifié sa propre voiture pour sauver un automobiliste victime d'une crise d'épilepsie. Sur les médias sociaux, un père a partagé le souhait de son adolescent autiste d'avoir des amis pour son anniversaire ; 55 000 souhaits d'anniversaire ont afflué, et le message a été à un moment donné le sujet le plus populaire sur Twitter aux États-Unis. À l'occasion de Thanksgiving, le SMS d'une grand-mère envoyé malencontreusement à un mauvais numéro perpétue une tradition de parenté datant de six ans, et cette histoire fera même l'objet d'un long métrage. À partir d’un mauvais numéro, de vraies belles amitiés peuvent naître. Il y a vingt ans, Gladys Hankerson, aujourd'hui âgée de 80 ans, a composé par erreur un mauvais numéro alors qu’elle cherchait à joindre sa sœur ; un faux pas qui a donné lieu à une amitié chaleureuse avec le jeune homme qu'elle avait appelé par erreur, Mike Moffit, aujourd'hui âgé de 46 ans. En Russie, les pompiers bloquent la circulation pour aider une femme âgée à traverser la route. En Nouvelle-Zélande, une ville ferme ses routes pour protéger une otarie et son petit - pendant un mois entier ! Pendant une tempête glaciale, un hôtel a accueilli gratuitement toute personne touchée. 9. L’innovation pour la planète est en hausse Cette année, d’innombrables histoires ont généré des vagues massives d’énergie pour prendre soin de notre planète. Parmi les innovations, on compte un service hospitalier de Taiwan entièrement construit avec des déchets, une chaussée pavée par des panneaux solaires en Hongrie, et des logements imprimés en 3D construits à partir de matériaux biodégradables en Italie. Comme vous l’avez sûrement entendu, les véhicules électriques ont de plus en plus la côte dans le monde. En Norvège, 9 voitures sur 10 vendues sont électriques ou hybrides. En Juillet, l’Allemagne a atteint son objectif de 1 million de voitures électriques sur la route. Aux Etats-Unis, cinq gouverneurs ont opté pour un réseau partagé pour recharger les véhicules électriques. Une nouvelle technologie permet aux bus électriques de se recharger sans fil lorsqu’ils sont à l’arrêt, alors que le bus scolaire électrique fournit de l’énergie au réseau lorsque les enfants sont à l’école. Cette année, les fabricants de véhicules tels que Volkswagen, Fiat, Mercedes-Benz et Ford ont annoncé des objectifs à court terme pour basculer leur offre dans le tout-électrique d’ici 2025 ou 2030. Et les personnes du monde entier continuent à contribuer à l’échelle individuelle. En Indonésie, une bibliothèque mobile prête des livres en échange d’objets recyclables. A Cornwall, au Royaume-Uni, une ligue de “pirates du plastique” a collecté 50 tonnes de plastique de l’océan. En Août, un inventeur Hollandais d’une vingtaine d’années a lancé un appareil nommé “Jenny” qui a enlevé près de 9 tonnes de déchets en plastique de la Grande Plaque de Déchets du Pacifique. En Inde, les communautés ont converti le biogaz généré par le gaspillage de nourriture en électricité. Au Nigéria, 14000 bouteilles en plastique ont été emballées avec de la terre pour être réutilisées comme briques pour bâtir des logements. 10. Ne doutez jamais de la capacité de l’esprit humain à faire une citronnade à partir de citrons Comme le dit le proverbe, “Lorsque la vie vous donne des citrons, faites une citronnade”. Alors que 2021 peut être considérée comme moins choquante que 2020, nous avons été témoins de plusieurs moments incroyables où l’alchimie de l’esprit humain a pu brasser quelque bonne citronnade. A Lyon, en France, un artiste anonyme remplit les nids de poules de la voie publique et les fissures d’étonnantes mosaïques. En Thaïlande, une crue de rivière plus importante que la normale a permis aux clients d’un restaurant de profiter de leur dîner au milieu des vagues. En Australie, les restrictions de voyage ont empêché Ben Jackson d’assister aux funérails de sa tante, alors – avec l’aide d’un troupeau de moutons – il célébra l’adieu avec un coeur géant. Le printemps dernier, alors que le fameux violoncelliste Yo-Yo Ma effectuait ses 15 minutes d’observation à la suite de son vaccin, il offrit spontanément une représentation qui éleva les esprits de toute la clinique. En Finlande, alors que les températures permettent de geler l’eau, l’architecte-designer Pasi Widgren dessine des images émouvantes dans la neige, pour que chacun puisse apprécier le temps que cela reste. A Seattle, une artiste met en place une pancarte “Petite Galerie d’Art” devant chez elle pour illuminer la journée de ses voisins, et la sienne par la même occasion. Lors des confinements liés à la pandémie, des taxis immobilisés ont démarré une seconde vie en accueillant des jardins sur leurs toits et ont permis de produire de la nourriture aux chauffeurs et à leurs familles. A Londres, le cortège d’adieu à un glacier de plus de 40 ans de profession a été une procession de camions à glace chantonnant la mélodie familière de ces camions sur le chemin du cimetière. A Melbourne, en Australie, un infirmier en soins intensifs a contacté le groupe de musique pour les enfants - The Wiggles - pour inspirer une jeune patiente atteinte du Covid- 19 avec le syndrome de Down à porter des tubes d'oxygène et sauver sa vie. Et alors que nous nous approchons doucement des fêtes de fin d’année, lorsqu’un homme apprit que sa voisine traversait une période difficile, il accrocha des lumières décoratives de chez lui à chez elle, comme symbole de connexion ; bientôt le voisinage s’illumina de lumière, littéralement et métaphoriquement. 2021 nous a rappelé que chaque moment recelait de forces et de faiblesses, de certitudes et de solidité impermanente, et d’une combinaison de possibilités qui évolue perpétuellement. Merci de nous inspirer quotidiennement avec ces moments où l’amour a été choisi au détriment de la peur. Alors que nous commençons 2022, continuons à respirer au travers de nos toiles partagées de karuna. ... KarunaVirus https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33727 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33727 Tue, 01 Feb 2022 16:18:57 -0800 During last Wednesday's virtual Awakin Circle, Donna's heartfelt share warmed many of our hearts: ... Bradley Stoll https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33640 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33640 Sun, 02 Jan 2022 08:21:48 -0800 As 2021 dissolves into a new year, KarunaVirus editors reflect on what the past year of witnessing everyday people choose love over fear have taught us. 1. Unsung Heroes Are Right Under Our Noses We are taught to look at the stage to see displays of greatness, but it's resoundingly clear that heroes can often be found among the most ordinary, everyday situations. If you walk into a Walmart late at night, you may just run into a high school principal stocking shelves. In South Carolina, school principal Henry Darby works the night shift after full school days and donates his earnings to his struggling students. Go for an early morning run at the park, and you might meet a community legend. Along the waterfront in St. Petersburg, Florida, Al Nixon sits on an unassuming bench, simply showing up for strangers unconditionally. Drop off your kids at the school bus, and their bus driver may just be one of the nation's top executives. When retired FBI boss and Fortune 500 company exec Mike Mason learned his county's school district was short on bus drivers, he found his "third act" charioteering kids to school. While a janitor Doramise Moreau quietly feeds thousands, this delivery driver Isaac Oduro works 7 days a week to fund a library at his former elementary school in Ghana. When violence repeatedly escalated at a troubled high school in Louisiana, a group of dads began showing up in school hallways -- their simple presence transformed the school. After serving an unassuming table-for-one, one waitress tears up reading a note left by her guest, a widow, thanking her for helping her get through her first meal out since her husband passed away. In China, one monk finds himself caring for 8,000 stray dogs. In California, a fresh college grad's photo shoot honoring her farmworker parents goes viral. In the UK, a 9-year-old with cerebral palsy is cheered by classmates upon completing his first walk to school. 2. Adversity Can Be a Gateway for Compassion As Leonard Cohen's classic song, "Anthem," goes, "There is a crack, a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in." In the past year, we've been witness to countless moments of goodwill whose luminosity finds a place to shine through the cracks of life's unpredictable hardships. Two years after a family lost their beloved 21-year-old son Trevor in a motorcycle accident, thousands do acts of kindness in his honor, on what would have been his 23rd birthday. In Canada, another motorcycle accident tragically takes Nicole and Brent Keryluke's lives, leaving their two young children. When relatives are forced to auction off the couple's beloved classic car to pay for medical bills, strangers bought and re-auctioned the car, donating all the earnings to the family. In Virginia, Robbie Pruitt's bike got stolen, he concluded the thief might've needed it to get to work -- a thought that prompted him to fix up anyone's bike for free, and has supplied hundreds of bikes since, forging new friendships along the way. After a car accident in 2012 left Pan Jing paralyzed, she thought her dance career was over; but today, at 34 years of age, she's part of a wheelchair dance team that performs across China. In Toronto, a group compiles love boxes for women in pandemic quarantine at domestic violence shelters. In Cameroon, refugees have turned their desert camp into a thriving forest. More recently, amid the crises in Afghanistan, the internet raised $6 million in one day to help evacuate at-risk Afghans. Many people draw from their own memories of plight and tumultuous transitions to ease the experiences of others. In Scotland, the daughter of a German refugee in Scotland gifted an Afghan family a new home, citing the kindness and humanity that had helped her family survive when they were new refugees. Across the Atlantic, nurse Tram Pham finds herself supporting some of the tens of thousands of Afghan refugees passing through the same medical clinic where she was comforted by nurses as a 22-year-old refugee from Vietnam. 3. Ordinary People Can Make Food And Shelter Abound Around the globe, the pandemic has accelerated efforts to provide the basics of food and shelter for all. Villages of tiny homes (and even micro homes) have sprung up as temporary housing for the homeless in cities like Los Angeles, Oakland, Seattle, St. Louis, and South Carolina. The first 3D-printed home in Austin, Texas will house 70-year-old Tim Shea, who was previously homeless. In York, UK, innovative nap pads even have the ability to monitor vital signs of those using them, and send alerts if breathing stops. This year, we were also witness to instances of homeowners opening up their backyards to house homeless strangers-turned-strangers-turned-friends. Some have extended this care into the animal kingdom, like an architect in Istanbul who began creating homes to house stray cats. Another trend that made us smile across the pandemic is a global outpouring of food offerings for anyone who opens its door. In Poland, a self-service 'honesty shop' offers hikers fresh fruits, jams, and juices all on the honor system. In Assam, India, a blessing hut invites anyone to "take what you need, leave what you can." In Vancouver, a pay-what-you-want grocery store engages food surplus by offering up over 30 thousand kilograms of food monthly. A movement of community fridges are beaming out to residents in upstate New York and Philadelphia and Miami. In California, a mom started a pantry out of her front porch, while a Little Food Pantry in South Carolina feeds 950 people. In New York City, a woman who lost her job leads a pantry that feeds thousands. 4. The Joy of Giving is Contagious Among the umpteen stories of giving we perused this year, one thing is clear: the joy of giving is a force that keeps on giving. We were warmed by stories of people gifting homes to community members ranging from a donut shop employee to indigenous community. In the Big Apple, when residents of an apartment complex got news their building's kind-hearted cleaning lady of 20 years got furloughed, they pooled funds to gift her two year's rent for the penthouse. In Indiana, when a pizza delivery man began having issues with his 28-year-old car, the community gifted him a new ride. Speaking of rides, in Chicago, a radio DJ repeatedly found himself driving past a young man and offered him a ride. Upon learning the 20-year-old walked 3 hours one-way to work everyday after his truck broke down, strangers collectively donated over $8000 to repair his truck. In North Carolina, what began as one couple inviting a college-aged friend over for dinner blossomed into a tradition of offering home-cooked meals regularly for groups of 120 students for free -- simply for the joy of breaking bread together. In Ontario, a friendly coffee drive-thru employee had to drop out of college due to financial constraints. He got a huge surprise when customers banned together to surprise him with tuition funds to send him back to school. On the topic of college students, a Harvard-bound high schooler paid-forward her $40K scholarship to another student who could use it more. Business owners paid off student debt for 83 employees, as an 8-year-old sold keychains to pay off school lunch debt for his classmates families! On that note of debt, when medical oncologist Dr. Omar Atiq closed his clinic after nearly 30 years, he decided to erase the debt owed to him by 200 former patients. Always bothered by seeing patients struggle with illness and paying for their treatment, he remarked, "I just hope that it gave them a little sigh of relief and made it easier for them so they could face other challenges they may be facing in their lives." On a lighter note, in Rome, we also saw Pope Francis send 15 thousand ice creams to prisoners during one of Italy's hottest summers on record. And research offers more on the joy of giving. 5. When Disaster Strikes, Communities Unite One resounding refrain we witnessed again and again in 2021, is the power of community to rise in the face of crisis or disaster. Early in the year, when the usually balmy city of Houston, Texas faced unprecedented ice storms, plumbers drove from afar to help; a mattress store owner offered shelter to stranded strangers, and a couple took in their delivery driver for five days! Amid the tragic condo collapse in Surfside, Florida, volunteers (and even dogs!) wafted in from all corners in to respond with care and kindness. Amid New Orleans' Hurricane Ida, nurses voluntarily stayed through the night to shelter NICU babies, a music venue dished up meals for residents without power, and the same Houston mattress store owner sheltered storm victims once again, this time at his store in Louisiana, while also supplying truckloads of mattresses and other essentials. Amid tornadoes in Kentucky, nursing home aides shielded their elderly residents from debris while everyday citizens rallied together toys for the holidays. When floods in Malaysia displaced thousands and set a hundred-year record, people stepped up in all corners to provide relief, including a newlywed couple who offered up the feast of their canceled wedding banquet to flood victims. 6. Business and Work Goes Beyond the Bottom Line 2021 was witness to an array of changes in the landscape of how we work and do business. Alongside inflation and waves of "Great Resignation", we witnessed multiple corporations and U.S. states boosting their minimum wage in spades: from Unilever to Costco to T-Mobile to Walgreens, and even an ice cream shop. Moreover, research around wellbeing and mental health became commonplace, with companies in New Zealand, UK, Scotland, Iceland, Spain, Canada, Japan, and UAE experimenting with 4-day work weeks. With remote work becoming a mainstay in many fields, Portugal made it illegal for bosses to text employees after work hours. And a Japanese beverage maker hopes to boost employee camaraderie and morale by providing free vending beverage when two employees scan their ID cards at the same time. Humanity also shined through across many businesses. CEO of cosmetics retailer Lush gladly shut down multiple social media accounts (a move that's estimated to lose the company $13.3 million) after whistleblowers revealed Facebook research on its negative affects to teen mental health. In Bunbury, Australia, construction of a water park was paused to let birds hatch after a pied oystercatchers nest was discovered on site. In California, when someone stole $1000 from a Chinese restaurant during a power outage, the mountainside community raised five times the amount lost to give back to their beloved eatery. In the Netherlands, in response to 1.3 million people over 75 who report regularly feeling lonely, 200 Jumbo supermarkets are donning a new checkout option called "Kletskassa" ("Chat Checkout") to provide a space for isolated customers to have a leisurely conversation while purchasing groceries. 7. Sports Are About Much More Than Winning This year also bore witness to some striking moments of humanity in the long-anticipated and one-year-delayed 2020 Olympics -- a reflection, perhaps, of the soaring spirit of sportsmanship among athletes today. Among the highlights of the Tokyo Olympics, high jumpers, from Qatar and Italy, who are also friends, share the gold instead of opting for a jump-off. "This is beyond sport. This is the message we deliver to the young generation," Qatar's Mutaz Essa Barshim stated after co-winning one of the most competitive high jump finals in history. Polish javelin thrower auctioned off her silver medal to help an infant get heart surgery -- only to get it returned to her by the supermarket chain that purchased it and donated the funds for the baby's surgery. While British diver Tom Daley crocheted in the stands for a brain tumor charity in memory of his father, Jamaican hurdler Hansle Parchment thanked the volunteer who paid for his taxi to make it in time for his race. Another digest sums up the way a surfer jumped in to translate for the rival who beat him, two opposing runners helped each other to the finish line after falling, and competing athletes were spotted pep-talking and consoling each other. Beyond the pros, everyday heroes inspired us with their shining acts of resilience, courage, and heart. After becoming legally blind following her battle with Covid, Laura Sosalla ran the Twin Cities marathon with four guide runners. In recreational hockey, a blind goaltender helped his team win 9-8. In high school sports, a deaf football team captured hearts with their historic, undefeated season heading into the California State Championships. When a teen runner collapsed in a cross-country race, a runner from the opposing team, stopped to help, forgoing his own chances of qualifying. In college sports, after winning a game for Wichita State University, one junior stayed behind to help janitors clean up the stands. And, after Michigan Wolverines football coach got a $500K bonus for the Big Ten East title this year, he gave it to all the althletic department employees who took a pay cut at the start of the pandemic. It was also a groundbreaking year for women in sports. At the Olympics, Sarah Gamal -- became the first Arab and African female basketball referee. In January, Sarah Thomas became the first woman to officiate at the Super Bowl. In college American football, a female kicker is cheered on by her (all-male) teammates upon learning she won a surprise football scholarship. In hockey news, Taya Currie became the first female player drafted to the Ontario Hockey League. And at the New York Yankees baseball stadium, a 70-year-old woman became a bat girl sixty years after her request as a child was rejected via a letter from the team manager stating, "a young lady such as yourself would feel out of place in a dugout." 8. People Everywhere Welcome Strangers as Family Despite pervasive polarities, there are still people everywhere greeting strangers as friends and family. In Canada, a popular television show has brought over 50 politicians of different sides of the political spectrum together in "Political Blind Dates". Amid rocket fire on the streets near Gaza in May, Arab and Jewish hospital medics still worked in solidarity. When an Arab nurse, saw a Jewish man lying on the ground after being attacked by a mob, he immediately applied first aid, and brought him to the hospital. Far away, in Oklahoma, a teen who identifies as Jewish, brought $80 to a local mosque, asking the imam to use it help Palestinians, with the message: "I want you to tell them this is from a young Jewish girl that worked all week babysitting. And that we love them and feel their pain." Even in business transactions and everyday encounters, possibilities spark when tuned into the pulse of our interconnections. When a long-haul Covid-19 patient fell behind on rent, his landlord, who is also a single mom, stepped up to help, stating simply, "He can't be evicted. He’s sick. He would not be okay." In Ontario, Canada, a homeowner took the lowest bid on his home after learning of the family's story, and recalling strangers' acts of grace to him in hard times. "We don't know how life will treat us 10, 15, 20 years from now. So the best thing to do is to live it well today," he said. In Hawaii, a business owner hired the apologetic man who stole from him. In Belfast, Ireland, a bus driver took a detour to drop a woman at a senior care home so she could visit her mother. On what would have been her son's 35th birthday, one mother paid for a stranger's birthday cake. In Los Angeles, former chemotherapy patients write letters to offer solace to new patients who have to receive the treatment alone due to pandemic hospital precautions. In France, a 15-year-old horse, Peyo, comforts cancer patients in the hospital halls. In Netherlands, a driver sacrificed his own car to save a driver having a seizure. On social media, a father shared about his autistic teen's wish for friends for his birthday; 55 thousand birthday wishes flooded in, and the post at one point was the number one trending topic on Twitter in the US. On Thanksgiving, a grandma's wrong-number text message carries on a 6-year-and-counting kinship and holiday tradition, and the story will even be depicted as a feature film. From wrong numbers, beautiful friendships can really blossom. Twenty years ago, Gladys Hankerson, now 80, misdialed her sister's number; a misstep that mushroomed into a heartwarming friendship with the then-youngster she had accidentally called, Mike Moffit, now 46. In Russia, firefighters block traffic to help an elderly woman cross the road. In New Zealand, a city closes the road to protect a sea lion and her pup -- for an entire month! During a freezing storm, a hotel welcomed anyone stranded, for free. 9. Innovating for the Planet is on the Rise Countless stories this year have chronicled massive waves of energy to take care of our planet. Among new innovations are a a hospital ward in Taiwan made entirely from trash, solar-powered pavement in Hungary, and 3D-printed homes made of biodegradable materials in Italy. As you've likely heard, electric vehicles are gaining traction around the world. In Norway, 9 in 10 cars sold are electric or hybrid. In July, Germany reached its goal of 1 million electric cars on the road. In the U.S., five governors are building a shared network for charging electric vehicles. A new technology enables electric buses to charge wirelessly while resting, while an electric school bus powers the electric grid while kids are in school. This year, car manufacturers like Volkswagen, Fiat, Mercedes-Benz, and Ford announced near-future timelines to go all-electric in their product offerings by 2025 or 2030. And individuals everywhere continue to do their part. In Indonesia, a mobile librarian lends out books in exchange for recyclables. In Cornwall, UK, a league of "plastic-hunting pirates" have collected 50 tons of plastic from the ocean. In August, a 20-something year-old Dutch inventor launched a device named "Jenny" that removed nearly 20,000 pounds (9,000 kilograms) of plastic waste from the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. In India, communities have been converting food waste biogas into electricity and, in Nigeria, 14,000 plastic bottles can be packed with dirt and reused as bricks to make a home. 10. Never Doubt the Capacity of the Human Spirit to Make Lemonade from Lemons As the saying goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." While 2021 can be said to have been slightly less shocking than 2020, we were witness to many striking moments of alchemy of the human spirit to brew up some remarkable lemonade. In Lyon, France, an anonymous artist fills public potholes and cracks with stunning mosaics. In Thailand, high bouts of flooding prompted riverside restaurant guests to enjoy dining with the waves. In Australia, travel restrictions prevented Ben Jackson from attending his aunt's funeral, so -- with the help of a flock of sheep -- he bid farewell with a giant heart. Last Spring, when renowned cellist Yo-Yo Ma found himself waiting for the 15-minute observation period following his vaccine, he offered up a spontaneous performance that lifted the spirits of all in the clinic. In Finland, when bodies of water freeze over, architect-designer Pasi Widgren draws stirring pictures in the snow for all to enjoy for as long as it lasts. In Seattle, an artist setup a Free Little Art Gallery display outside her home to brighten her neighbors' days, as well as her own. Amid pandemic lockdowns, idled taxis took on a second life in Thailand as rooftop gardens that could provide food to drivers and their families. In London, an ice cream man of over 40 years was bid adieu by a procession of ice cream trucks filling the air with the familiar jingle of ice cream trucks en route to the cemetery. In Melbourne, Australia, an intensive care nurse tracked down children's music group, The Wiggles, to inspire a young Covid-19 patient with Down syndrome to wear oxygen tubes to save her life. And as we wind down the holiday season, when a man learned his neighbor was going through hard times, he strung holiday lights from his house to hers, as a symbol of connection; soon the whole neighborhood was sparked with light, literally and metaphorically. 2021 reminded us how much is embedded in each moment's strength and weakness, certainty and lack of solidity, and ever-evolving arrangements of possibility. Thank you, for inspiring us with your everyday moments of choosing love over fear. As we enter 2022, may we continue to breathe into our shared tapestry of karuna. ... KarunaVirus https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33635 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33635 Fri, 31 Dec 2021 08:24:26 -0800 At the tail end of last night's virtual Awakin Circle in Santa Clara, we were treated to a real-time zoom rendition of one of my favorite songs, "Kisi Ki Muskurahaton Pe" -- sung by Dinesh Uncle! With a modest application of poetic license, here is a translation of the original Hindi lyrics into English: Kisi Ki Muskurahaton Pe (Someone's Smile) Giving a smile to someone Holding space for them to express their pain Holding them in your heart This is the essence of life It's true, I am poor in terms of money But my heart is rich And life is great when guided by love and joy I have faith in this even if our society does not Trust bridges the divide between hearts Love's expression exists due to us Someone will remember this form even after it dies As I will smile in their tears Flowers proclaim this to buds, time after time ... Mark Peters https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33571 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33571 Thu, 02 Dec 2021 16:12:43 -0800 Yesterday, while I was on a zoom call for a weekly writer's group, my 8-year-old daughter Afton spontaneously joined. When one of our groupmates asked her to share a poem, she spontaneously wrote a series of poems. In last night's Awakin Santa Clara circle, Mark encouraged her to share the poems with the group, and I thought I'd share them here as well, in case they bring a smile to you the way they did for us. The heartfelt expressions of children can be so humbling to witness! Endless There is no end to anything. It continues. If you turn a sphere, it's endless. The world you live in, is endless. Your life, is endless. You never end. You can never be left behind, because you just keep going. You can never be alone, because you can't be in one place. Endless. The Meaning of Love Sitting there, snuggling with your mom, that's love. But what's the meaning? What's the meaning of giving a hug, just because you're feeling a burst of gratitude at the moment? The meaning is telling the one you love that they matter. That they're a huge part of you. The meaning of Love is showing. Showing you see something in them. Love has a part. The Beauty of Being Who You Are Sometimes life is hard, but good times get the best of you. There's always some way something can improve. Everyone is part of the Earth. If you kill one life, you kill the whole world. Untitled Even faced with the many corridors of death, You still have life in your heart. Maybe just a little, but it's always there. You can stop to feel that life, that silence, untangling the halls ahead. It might be dark, maybe light, but that life is still inside your heart. ... Janessa Wilder https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33570 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33570 Thu, 02 Dec 2021 15:42:54 -0800 [I was deeply touched by Chaz Howard's recent Awakin reading, and particularly, the recent conversation he had with Nipun. Below were my reflections for our local Awakin Circle.] I wanted to touch on five different things from what stood out for me in this remarkable passage. I was struck by a number of things. First the idea of lived theology, to live your faith, but then to live it at the “bottom” as a way to gain spiritual insight and compassion. And, of course, Chaz did this! He spent time living by choice on the street, amongst the homeless, in Philadelphia where he’s from. So, he really can speak from that personal experience, as he does in the conversation with Nipun and in the book he's also written. The next thing that struck me was the idea of the wounded heart as being a source for great compassion or great violence. This spoke to me personally, and I have a story about that. When I was growing up, I was subjected to intensive and persistent bullying well through my grade school, junior high school, and high school, and I became—at least in my own experience—a pariah amongst all of my fellow students. I developed a lot of anger and a lot of frustration—mostly self-directed anger at the time—and then I went off to college and became an architect and set-out upon my career. But then, I took that wound with me and all I could do was work for revenge against these people who had ruined my childhood and, as I had it, ruined me in the process. This was the anger side of the wounded heart and I wanted to win that battle, I strove to have an illustrious career as an architect and rub their noses in it. This was not violence in the sense of waving a stick or shooting gun, it was a kind of emotional violence that one could inflict on the other, and I really got that. Then later in life—actually recently, in the last 20 years—I flipped. I was able to move beyond the battle, to really thinking about what was it that had them do what they did. They weren’t evil inherently, something must have happened to them—and to me as well! What was I doing? I was seeking revenge, waging violence in response. It’s the same question for me as it is for them. And so, I began to forgive, first them and then myself as well. As I’ve done this, I’ve had the experience of going from anger and revenge to presence and compassion, for myself and for them. I still have my moments, but I really am in that transition right now very thoroughly in my life and it's wonderful to have made that change. And so, this leads to the third thing that stood out for me, this potential for redemption—specifically the potential for redemption as a radical place to stand. For me, the radicalness of it is actually declaring what is so and that you're going to live from that. You don't have proof, you just say I’m going to place my feet right here and stand in the space that redemption is possible. What living like that can bring is incredible. And that led to maybe the biggest “Wow!” of all for me in this passage, the idea, as Chaz describes it, of the great strength of character required to panhandle. I think that many of us, including myself, have looked at the homeless and thought there's weakness there, that becoming homeless is a result of weakness. And yet, in the conversation Chaz has with Nipun, he tells the story of Aaron, the homeless man he knew on the streets of Philadelphia, and how he got that he—Chaz—would do anything to feed his children. He was willing to accept whatever humiliation or trouble that might bring upon him, and that was his strength of character. It was very, very moving for me to hear that, to get that it was strength, not weakness, that was forming their experience. And then, finally, the fifth thing is this idea of living theology at the bottom, and understanding what the bottom, the bottom of the barrel, the travails we have, can do to us. We're not evil people, but things happen to us and we react, and it’s to gain this as a humanizing, not a patronizing, understanding. I have a little story about that I will also tell. I found myself almost homeless once in my life. I reached out with my begging bowl, so to speak, and what was given me was the opportunity to work with the homeless, for a whole year in Tucson, Arizona, almost 40 years ago. I started out with resistance to even proffering my bowl, shamed by the prospect of homelessness. By the time I got to the end of that year, I was very, very, very clear—clear that it was a case of we're all in this world together and, but for the grace of God, go we all. We can all land there and the question then is what do we do with our lives in that place, for ourselves and each other? That understanding changed my life, literally. There's so much in this passage that’s so wonderful to consider! So, now, some seed questions. The first could be “How do we relate to the notion that we are all beggars?” All of us as humans are beggars—a fascinating question. Another: “Can you share a personal story of a time when you became aware of what the bottom can do for a person?” What I would add is that could come from the experience, as I had, of a wounded heart. Finally: “What helps you retain empathy when hurt?” I can say from my own experience it's having been through those stages I described, where I really got the cost of living in anger, living in separation, and beginning to realize what embracing can provide me and the people around me! ... Rick Phillips https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33401 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33401 Wed, 22 Sep 2021 21:43:24 -0700 Yesterday after a full day of masked in-person teaching, I returned to my car ready to drive home. While I was inside the car, a young woman walked around my car and indicated she wanted to tell me something---she said "your back tire is flat!" and walked away. I used the tire gauge that my dad had sent me a while ago to check all the tires and indeed one was completely flat. Fortunately we have AAA and I called the number so they could change the tire and put on my spare tire. The car was in a place where it would have been very challenging for me to do this, but they did it quickly. I had to wait for a while for them to show up, but I didn't mind at all because I could just use that time to meditate, breathe, and pause. I also had packed a little container of apple slices and carrot sticks so I was not feeling "hangry"! It gave me time to gaze at the sky and just sit quietly (I was looking forward to Awakin Circle that evening and figured that my meditation sit would just have to be in the car instead of at home--got a good 25 minute "sit"!) Afterwards I had to drive home at 50mph on the highway (since that's recommended for the spare tire) and while cars were whizzing by me at 80+mph I was in the "slow lane" and enjoying every mile of the 40 minute drive home. I was glad to make it home in time for the Awakin Circle's second hour of sharing on the theme of building a fire and the importance of leaving "space" for the flame to catch. I felt that the flat tire had given me that space to breathe and let the gratitude I felt "catch" and spread. Gratitude overflowed..... to the kindness of the stranger who alerted me to the flat tire--blessings to her, my guardian angel.... to my dad for the tire pressure gauge (I feel his love and care always) to my husband for insisting we renew AAA for a 5 year membership to myself for packing a healthy snack for the end of the long day to the AAA guy who did his job so well and efficiently and kindly to the universe for giving me the space to see the beauty of the sky and clouds to the "slow" drive home savoring my favorite 80s hits on the radio :-) to the guy at the tire shop who was so sweet and because of the flat tire I ended up replacing all of my tires which it turned out needed replacing anyway (5+ years!) to meditation practice and mindfulness which allowed me to savor this unexpected "space" in my day... Brinda Govindan https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33361 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33361 Fri, 10 Sep 2021 15:18:31 -0700 I love Mulla Nasrudin stories and would read them with my son when he was little. So this week's reading was very familiar-- funny and yet very profound. It got me thinking about losing a sense. Two years ago, I had lost my voice for two weeks. And that's a pretty long time not to talk, especially for somebody who is a teacher! And it was a very, very profound shift, because not only did I experience the world differently from my "silent space" but I learned that how others saw me was different too. During that time I went to a conference and people thought I was deaf, because I was writing on a small whiteboard that I carried everywhere. They would talk really loudly to me which I found startling! I would then indicate on my whiteboard "I have just lost my voice". I gave my entire presentation without speaking---by writing on a board, showing slides and getting the participants to interact and talk with each other in an activity I had planned---everything I had wanted to do was accomplished silently! Members of the audience told me it was such a refreshing change to use a different sense---looking at me for cues, reading and watching instead of listening. Several people commented that they found more focus in the slience and that they really were amazed at how I communicated without speaking. I was thrilled that it had gone well, but more importantly it made me fully appreciate all of the senses that we take for granted. It also showed me that being grounded in silence is invaluable. In addition, this experience really gave me such an insight into how people treat others with various challenges--whether those are real or perceived. It made me remember never to assume anything about someone else when I haven't walked in their shoes. ... Brinda Govindan https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33336 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33336 Fri, 03 Sep 2021 21:45:43 -0700 In our Laddership Pod, as I read podmates' reflections, I was reminded of my own practice on embracing fear. A helpful one is to identify Fear as a character I can converse with. I learned this mantra from Tanya Kaps, and felt inspired to illustrate it. This was drawn in April 2020, when Covid was reaching its first peak globally. ----- Originally posted in Laddership Pod. ... Linh Trinh https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33296 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33296 Wed, 18 Aug 2021 10:05:54 -0700 Last Tuesday, Ocean and I had the honor of hosting a Teen Awakin Call with Nimo Patel. Part of a project for the 2021 ServiceSpace summer internship, this Teen Awakin Call was structured similar to a regular Awakin Call but was primarily for teens to listen and ask questions. [View in browser window here.] Nimo Patel is a rap star who works with kids from underprivileged communities in India. He attended Wharton business school and rose to stardom in his early twenties. However, after witnessing an inspiring performance by these children, he realized that his perceptions of blessings and happiness were slowly becoming redefined. For the past dozen years, Nimo has been serving and working with the underprivileged communities in the Gandhi Ashram in India, giving them wisdom, care, and unconditional love. From an Ivy League education to Wall Street to fame and fortune as an MTV rap star, Nimo realized that he was walking a path of suffering and that the only path to light was through selfless service to others and his own internal purification. Most recently, Nimo has reconnected to his roots of music and is offering this gift of love, peace, and oneness through his songs: an offering he calls 'Empty Hands Music'. During the interview, Nimo graciously answered around 13 questions from us as well as some of the audience. Here are some of our favorite highlights from this call! It was so inspiring to hear about the time when Nimo walked into a room to find all the children meditating on their own! Nimo had always loved music and mentioned that his rap career started from a calculus rap video that he and some friends made, which is super interesting. One of Nimo’s greatest inspirations was a hip-hop artist named Tupac Shakur, who inspired Nimo to write poems and sing them over instrumental music. Nimo likes his music to connect with his emotions and thoughts, and once he feels the connection to his music, he starts writing it. Nimo shared an inspiring story about when he goes to the childrens’ homes in the slum communities, they sometimes offer him a cup of chai. This may seem normal, but it means they go out and buy a pouch of milk, which might be 30 rupees. However they might be making only 60-100 rupees in a day, so that cup of chai means a lot to Nimo. Something interesting about Nimo is that he had a successful career after graduating from an Ivy League, but he chose to follow his passion and serve others. If Nimo was to give advice to a young kid, he would tell him/her to keep having conversations with the heart. The mind is a beautiful thing as well, but is heavily influenced by external factors, so having conversations with the heart will ground you and balance the mind. We are so honored to have the chance to interview such a remarkable person and we are so inspired by his music and personal experiences! Thank you, Nimo, for taking the time to answer our questions and we hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as we did! ----- Originally posted in Youth Internship 2021 Pod. ... Katherine Wang https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33269 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33269 Tue, 10 Aug 2021 07:28:45 -0700 “If you have no obstacles in your own mind, then outer obstacles will not hinder you or cause you to worry” – Master Hsuan Hua Two Buddhist Monks, Jin Wei Shi, and Jin Chaun Shi anchored weekly bowing sessions to dedicate merits to all beings during the global Covid crisis. In the final session, last week, we had a special guest Rev Heng Sure who along with Marty, former Heng Ch'au, bowed in peace, and for peace, touching their foreheads to the ground across 800 miles across. Below is an excerpt from the call. I really recommend that people bow outdoors. Sometimes, if you live on the twelfth floor of a high rise or live in a concrete jungle, it is hard to find grass. But if you can find even a patch of grass to bow on, what it does is it puts you much closer to all the other living beings with whom we share this planet. No doubt, no doubt. Bowing puts us closer to the ground, and it puts head and heart on the same level so that the blood circulates. It washes away all of those artificial boundaries of thought that keep us separated from each other and the planet and from all living beings. One of our great discoveries that I and Marty had was that probably the creatures that will inherit the earth once humans are done are the beetles, the shelled creatures because there are so many varieties of them, and are indestructible. They also do a very good job of cleaning up everything that needs cleaning up. When you bow down, you take one square meter, one square inch centimeter of the land, of the soil. And you see the thousands and tens of thousands and hundreds of thousands of creatures that inhabit every square centimeter. You realize that there are no boundaries between them and us and, indeed, once we leave this body, we become them. So now that we have had this experience of bowing together, led by the Bhikshu's at Berkeley Buddhist monastery, we have a sense of that serenity and connection and refreshing and renewing that happens as we bow that we do not want to stop now. So how do we keep that feeling of connection and renewal going once these bowing sessions are done? I want to suggest that the place where we pay our attention is the mind. The Buddha described it as, in Chinese, we say hsin-ti, the mind ground, the ground of the mind. Think of the ground like a garden, and gardening requires skill. You have to get out there to cultivate a piece of land and turn what was fallow land into something fertile so it can grow. The work is in the mind, the mind is like the garden. When it is weeded, planted, watered, and intended, you get sprouts of awakening, sprouts of compassion, you head for an enlightenment harvest right. If you let the mind go, let it go in its own way, that is fine. There is no judgment. But what happens is before long, it is choked with weeds and then dust, and then you have trashy berry vines to grow up full of thorns and do not yield any fruit. Hawks rule it from the sky, and rats rule it from the ground. And what was a tranquil fertile garden becomes a battle zone for affliction and trouble. So how do we do it, and what do we do? The Buddha gave us the precepts but the Buddha does not own them. They are the basic, fundamental rules of being a human, and you cannot win the struggle to subdue the mind with force. You transform selfishness into selflessness. You transform self-benefit into sharing and benefiting others. You win through patience and virtue, not through force when you are turning fallow land into a garden. So five precepts are the foundation of being a human, cherishing life instead of killing, cherishing material and ownership, instead of stealing, cherishing vows and promises, instead of adultery or promiscuity. Cherishing integrity, instead of dishonesty and then cherishing wisdom instead of intoxication. And as monks, we have this list of precepts that we follow. We are extensive gardeners of that mind ground and there is one set called the Bodhisattva precepts that laypeople can take but monks and nuns take ten major and forty-eight subsidiaries Bodhisattva precepts. Interestingly, it is a lot about diet, and there is one that people talk about - why do you not eat onions and garlic. They say, what is the deal with onions and garlic, don't you like Italian people and French people. Why are you so uptight about it? Then, of course, anybody who eats sattvic food from an Indian perspective knows about onions and garlic and the pungent plants; they are tamsik. Tamas, they go down instead of sattva, which goes up. So Tibetan, Nepali, and Indian friends know about the value of the sattvic diet. But what is not known so much is that if you hold those Bodhisattva precepts, there are benefits and invisible benefits, if you garden the mind-ground at that level. They say, if you take those precepts, there are precepts protecting spirits that want to keep you going. There are protectors, Dharma protectors, and whether or not you believe in such things. You do not have to decide now, you can suspend belief, but I will just share my experience. Story: While Marty and I were bowing, we went through a place in central California called Vandenberg village, right outside the Vandenberg air force base, the ICBM base to protect Los Angeles. This place had many return vets and families of the pilots living here. So we were sitting, it was raining that day, and we were in our car having lunch. Because we were in central California, there were no offerings from LA or San Francisco. So lunch consisted of peanut butter, raisins, crackers, and some boiled road greens that we gathered from the side of the road. We ate once a day, following our precepts. So this car pulls up and, this lady hops right out, and she says, 'hey, what can I get you, monks, to eat? How about a pizza. Wouldn't that be good as today it is cold and wet?'. And before we left home, of course, pizza was everybody's favourite. But after we took the precepts, pretty much that's it for pizza because they don't come without onions and garlic, right? So we thought now there's lots of other clean food on the planet, sattvic food, so we rather go hungry than say goodbye to our precepts and our protectors. But I have to say that was the thought like we were cold and wet and had to bow for another half of the day, and we wanted some more hot fuel. So Marty, who was speaking, said, "That's really generous of you thanks, we don't eat garlic or onions; most pizzas are loaded with them. And the lady says, 'oh no problem, no problem, I will tell him to take that stuff out, I will be right back.' And Marty says yeah, but the tomato sauce usually has garlic in it, and if it does, we can't eat it. Okay okay, I understand, be right back, says the lady and jumps in her station wagon and zooms off into Vandenberg village. So we sat down, cold lunch; why bother cooking? You don't cook peanut butter. We thought no way she's going to find a garlic-less pizza. Well, you never know, you never know. So minutes later, she returns and says, here you go, good luck, oh and, by the way, the man said there's only a little bit of garlic in the sauce, no worries, enjoy. And we are like, ah huh. So we got the box, a big one like a large pizza box, you know hot fragrant, and we lift the lid, and this wave of garlic comes rolling out, oh man. I looked at him; he looks at me, gives a sigh, closes the lid, puts it on top of the car, and try to give it away to somebody if we can. We go back to the boiled road greens and peanut butter and raisins. So time to wash up after lunch, say our gratitude verse; they who practice making offerings will certainly obtain their reward. Those who take delight in giving will later surely find peace and happiness. I start my bowing, put my pack on, and because the highway is really busy there, we had to bow by the car and count our bows. And I noticed right then that there was this sudden negative energy blowing up. Marty was over with washing the pot, and there was this cloud that goes rolling up, and this man comes walking right towards us. He looks like he might have been 40 years old, a veteran. He had on a military windbreaker with a patch from his unit. The sad part was his eyes were white, and he was mumbling to himself; he was crazy, and his eyes were unfocused. He talked to himself in a slow voice, saying, the marines don't leave anybody behind, we know we'll see how it hurts, someone will get right. And I am like oh, all my meters were going ding ding ding ding, this person is unbalanced, and he's coming faster and faster towards us. I know that the Dharma protector Marty, his defences are moving into high gear. Both of us started to recite the great compassion mantra, Guan Yin Bodhisattva mantra, and we thought, well, here's our chance to test out whether those Dharma protectors are real, reciting Guan Yin Bodhisattva's name. This guy is now heading for us, and he's speeding up. He's got us on his radar, and he bangs into something ten feet from the car, and he can't move. He is rocking back and forth, he reaches in his pockets, and he is still rocking, his eyes are just big and unfocused, and he can't reach, and he bounces off and goes off to the right, passes us, mumbling to himself like he hit some sort of invisible shield. The air cleared away, the wind blew the tension, and the sun came out, and Marty I look at him, and he looks at me, and we go back and continue bowing, he cleans up, and we're down the road. Now, what was that all about? I don't know, but I definitely had the feeling that we were protected by something invisible. And my hunch was that if we had dived into that pizza, maybe we would have lost that protection. Keep the rules, and it works out, break the rules, and you're on your own. Marty and I, from that time on, refer to that story as the precept pizza. So that's how it is. If you want to grow that garden, what happens is even though we might not be bowing once a week with the monks, we have moved from the physical into the spiritual because we are holding the precepts. In that case, we are gardening with those precepts with another level of personal cultivation. And my goodness! the fruit of the mind-ground, well-cultivated with those another level of requirements of oneself is deeper compassion, deeper insight, and a deeper connection with everyone. I have one more story that I wanted to share thinking about you all bowing every week, and if you can continue the bowing, I think that's super. Understand that this is a lifetime practice, and it matures as you bow. There's very much a sense that bowing is something most people don't want to do, humble yourself, go down at shoe level, at the insect level. What are you doing that for? Well, I just call it returning. I am returning, and I am also completing a circle somehow; something spiritual is happening when you subdue the self. Journey Entry 1978 Marty: I want to read Marty's actual journal entry from the year 1978 while Marty and I were in the place called Big Sur - "He stood with his back and shoulders pinched against the cold gusts blowing in from the sea, hands stuffed in pants pockets, face wide open like a child's. His shining sleek new car was pulled up alongside our dull Sun-blanched wagon. The dirt and dust whipped by and swirling clouds on our highway pull off in Big Sur. I was doing lunch clean-up while Heng Sure bowed. Shivering in a thin floral print shirt, slapping in the wind, the man stood between us, looking back and forth, hesitant, but inexorably drawn and held by something. Slowly he walked over as if he were tiptoeing late into a church. Excuse me, I don't mean to disturb your practice but would it be possible, just to ask who you are and what you are doing, he asked. He said his name was Riley. I began explaining the pilgrimage, and when I said that we were Buddhist, he interrupted me, full of excitement as if a dam had broken inside. Buddhists! Buddhists! Buddha! oh wow! he exclaimed. Unable to control his emotions clearly. Listen, I was in prison for five years, and I read a book called Zen flesh Zen bones. It was full of parables, and they really talked to me deep inside. It got me through those five years. It was the best friend I ever had. I read it over and over, day after day said, Riley. He says, but you are Americans, you are Caucasians. I said that Buddhism doesn't have one country or people. Or one colour or one language, or one race, Riley added. He was African American. It's in the heart; it's in mind, right? That's right, and the Dharma belongs to everyone, I said. Riley threw up his hands, and his voice went into, oh! oh! he said then, you know that book he asked, his voice quivering with enthusiasm, tears coming to his eyes. I said sure, I read it in college. Riley broke into tears, and he wanted to hug me right there on the Big Sur tunnel. So I was speeding on my way down to LA and this Cadillac, and I saw you bowing and listen I have seen Christians, I have seen Krishna, I have seen Muslims, I have seen Jews, I have seen some that no one's ever heard of, but I have never seen anything like this, he said. What I read in that book it's true, and here you are. I can't tell you what this means to me; you have no idea. The tears rolling down his cheeks again, it belongs to everyone, and it's everywhere, he kept saying with a face full of joy and light. Through the suffering of five years in prison and disappointment, years of searching afterwards, Riley never abandoned his faith. He heard the Dharma like it was, and he knew that wisdom was not apart from his own heart. He knew that real wisdom wasn't just for Asians or Indians or the religion of people who live in central. He knew that real wisdom could be opened up within his own mind. Real Dharma isn't confined to books or temples or even to this world. He knew that he himself could become wise and compassionate, but he never dared express this faith of stream. He carried hidden in his heart like this little book, the parables that he kept in a cell in jail. So when he saw two Buddhist monks bowing right before his eyes on California state highway one in the 20th century, something he couldn't find words for. His eyes were big and bright as crystal platters; 'you have no idea what this means to me, no idea, he said while holding my hand, smiling and crying', he said. So that's the story of Riley, and I might suggest to all of you that if you all continue bowing, you might step right into the role of the monks that we serve for Riley, which is to say, pointing away back to something that is ageless but totally current. Not that you want to do that, you don't think about it. I hope somebody sees me bowing and gets but sometimes just that connection is right on time. And, as we bow, we start tending the mind ground and growing those sprouts and flowers and fruits of the awakening of Boddhi, then our time has been really well spent. Thank you... Trupti Pandya https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33250 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33250 Sun, 01 Aug 2021 10:30:16 -0700 This past Thursday, Katherine and I had the honor of hosting a Teen Awakin Call with Brian Conroy, one of the mentors for our internship this summer. This Teen Awakin Call was a project for the 2021 ServiceSpace summer internship. This Teen Awakin Call was structured similar to a regular Awakin Call, but was primarily for teens to listen and ask questions, as opposed to adults. Brian Conroy, our guest, is a storyteller and the founder of the Buddhist Storytelling Circle, which is a collection of storytellers from the Berkeley Buddhist Monastery. He first encountered Venerable Master Hsuan Hua in 1976 and took refuge with the Master in 1994. Brian has also taught theater and public speaking in several public schools in San Jose, as well as performed his stories in various festivals. Brian graciously answered around thirteen questions, from us interns and others who joined. He also shared a remarkable story with the group centered around the theme of contentment. Here are some highlights from his insightful stories and answers! [Or view here in new browser window.] Brian mentioned that his favorite stories to tell are Jataka tales, a collection of Buddhist morality stories. Brian shared a Jataka tale about a king who hunted deer. Because the king hunted much more deer than he could possibly eat, the deer were starting to become scarce. At that time, there were two deer tribes, so the prince struck a deal with the deer tribes saying that the king would only kill one deer a day. One day, the deer that was supposed to be killed turned out to be a pregnant doe who asked if she could be sacrificed after her babies were born. She approached both leaders of the two tribes with this proposition. The first leader declined, but the second one (soon to be reincarnated as the Buddha), graciously accepted her offer, and went to sacrifice himself to the prince. The prince noticed the deer tribe leader's noble sacrifice and decided to spare him. One of the main challenges that Brian faced during his journey of storytelling is opening the audience to create their own interpretations of the parables he shared. Instead of explaining the morals of the story, he left the interpretation to the audience members. Brian prefers the term ‘performing’ rather than ‘acting’. This is because acting symbolizes putting on a mask and a fake persona rather than letting true nature shine through, unlike performing. Brian’s love of storytelling came from his family. Ever since the age of 14, he was fascinated by the performing arts. He shared that his family inspired him into performance. One noteworthy piece of advice that Brian also shared is that no matter the circumstances, following your passion will never fail. Brian also shared another story, related to the theme of contentment. This story talked about a man who was fed up with everything in his life (his family, his job, his town) and set out to seek paradise. When he set out on his journey, he passed houses, stores, and farms. In the middle of his journey, he stopped under a tree to sleep. In order to remember the direction of paradise, he pointed his shoes in the direction he wished to travel. While he was sleeping, a spirit dwelling in the tree he slept under, switched the direction of his shoes to the same way he came. When he awoke, he put on his shoes and pursued the direction they were facing. After a while of walking, he saw farms, followed by stores, followed by houses. He thought to himself that he was in paradise. But when he kept walking, he noticed his house, and his beautiful family standing at the doorstep. All of a sudden, even upon recognizing his family and town, he lived life content, loving every moment. We are so honored to have the chance to interview such a remarkable person and we are so inspired by his stories and personal experiences! We also hope to host more calls like these in the next few weeks of our internship. Thank you, Brian, for taking the time to answer our questions and we hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as we did! ----- Originally posted in Youth Internship 2021 Pod. ... Alakh Kapadia https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33206 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33206 Sat, 17 Jul 2021 06:50:00 -0700 I was invited into the Noble Friendships Pod by my former classmate. I had the simple goal of getting one step closer to genuinely treating myself as a good friend. At the time I joined, I was deep in the middle of a state in which my body and mind forced me to rest. I had just finished a two-semester long certificate program online and finally had met the limbo space of ambiguity of “What’s next?” There was so much waiting for me to do but I had absolutely no motivation to even approach them. My body tied me back into the present and out of my running thoughts through the manifestation of physical pain, an old and familiar friend of mine. I finally decided to make the focus of each day completing my daily recitation and my daily readings, practices, and responses for the pod. I didn’t expect more from myself since it was crystal clear that I had to open back up the space within myself to just be, to heal, and to attend to what was just in front of me. I had learned about mettā before, known as “loving friendliness” in the Noble Friendships Pod or “loving-kindness” in some English translations of Buddhist texts in the Pali tradition. It was something I had been prescribed to practice. Yet it wasn’t any less difficult to embody. In a recent practice immersion week, I was participating in a guided meditation that cued everyone to let joy emerge from within them, and I didn’t succeed in persuading myself that it was okay for me to feel that joy, no matter how many times I told myself. I cried bitter tears through that whole sitting period. Despite all of that, I was keen on trying to tap into mettā again. It was something else to look closely, patiently, and quietly at myself, my dynamic with others, and beyond. It was the day of our midpoint call when everyone met online to share and listen. We split off into breakout rooms and I was paired with a pod mate who had just shared earlier. I remarked to him that he had a kind face and that I had no doubt he was a generous and sweet person. Sometimes you can just tell. We were answering the “Rose, thorns, and bud” question about our experience in the pod so far, and upon sharing, my voice shook, tears pushing out of my eyes as I expressed my own frustration at myself. My pod mate looked at me with kindness, gentleness, and care. He mentioned, “I sense that you are carrying some stress with you.” While my tears fell I told him that I was worn out from waking up fantasizing only for it to always turn into bitter resentment. There were certain days, that day included, where I would wake up fantasizing about my ex. This fantasy would later shift into anger at someone who I respect and trusted but later found out was advising my ex, and what followed between my ex and I ended up deeply hurting and scarring me. That someone started treating me differently in a way that felt absolutely alienating, including blocking me on social media. I cried for a long time when I found out. On the days that this would happen, I would be unable to get out of bed until hours later, carry my seething anger to the breakfast table. I added, “Maybe I should write myself letters of care instead of doing what my anger pulled me to do: to pack all of my sour, venomous thoughts into a letter to that someone that I’d never send. It’s clear that person doesn’t want to speak to me. I need to hold some space of gentle caring for myself and just listen, like you are doing with me right now.” He shared his own anecdotes on how with time, he came to terms with difficult experiences; another in which he didn’t judge someone anymore, even though he had certain doubts. We were sent back into the main group after the breakout groups closed. I never ended up writing those letters, though, because my breakthrough came quickly. After the group call, I mulled over my short exchange with that pod mate. A question came into my own mind: “Have I ever asked myself if I am doing okay?” It was very clear that I was always trying to force myself into forgiving that person, perpetually blaming that person for… something. I sat with myself and told myself, “Well, it’s clear that you’re very hurt by everything that’s happened, even though it’s been a couple years. That’s okay. Would you like to sit with this for a while?” There is a common saying in my journey in the Dharma, “Return the light and illumine within.” In a similar vein, something came to mind: “Find the source.” That day, the rain had finally found its way into my family home since the roof had some holes in it. I knew that the water stains were the manifestations I could see, but the source of the rain entering the house was somewhere I couldn’t see unless I climbed into the attic and looked to where the holes were, quite a distance away from the visible water damage. Wasn’t my anger similarly a manifestation to something deeper that I couldn’t see? Think. Think. What was the source of why I was so bothered by that someone? I knew it was interlaced tightly with my desire towards my ex. My fantasy and anger always came as a pair. Think. Think. My mind returned to the reading that I did in my first year of the master’s program at Dharma Realm Buddhist University, an excerpt from Slavoj Zizek’s Looking Awry: An Introduction to Jacques Lacan through Popular Culture. In one of the later chapters, Zizek mentions the devastating aftershocks one goes through when one’s fantasy space is broken. Of course! I had the notion that the someone I was angry at was a big reason why my ex and I had so much trouble, why we weren’t together anymore. And I knew that wasn’t true because regardless of what I knew and didn’t know, what was said and not said, what happened and what was guessed to have happened, all of that resulted into the same thing: that my ex and I weren’t together anymore. Our lives were always headed away from each other anyhow. I knew that the person I was mad with wanted the best for my ex and me. I know that person tried to give advice to my ex in a way that would possibly help, but good intentions don’t always equate to good results. My ex hurt me exactly in the same way that person did, but I forgave my ex a long time ago because I genuinely wished him well, mixed in with a little hope that we would one day find ourselves back with each other. What was the difference between my care for one and my heartbrokenness for the other? Not much really. I sat there in disbelief. Really? Two to three years of fuming extinguished instantly like a candle’s flame upon a singular realization, all because I unknowingly posited that someone destroyed my fantasy space. There was no returning to the way I was before with this type of breakthrough. Since then, I haven’t woken up angry. I haven’t woken up fantasizing and lost in desire. Everything seemed more peaceful. I could let the things that caused me anguish go; this experience taught me that. There was this newfound openness. Later in the pod, there were questions asking about experiences like the kind that I had with that someone, asking what we would do differently now with more knowledge from that day’s pod reading. I mentioned in my response that I wouldn’t do anything differently now, because it was clear that the boundaries that person drew were silence and distance. And finally, I was okay with that, not needing to demand what has never been, what isn’t. The descriptions of mettā all suddenly made sense because I had finally experienced it full force through the boundless open ocean of forgiveness. The stinging hatred dissolved in the warm saltwater that encompasses all. Never again shall I return to that clinging of the poison of anger.-----Originally posted in Noble Friendships Pod.... Xuan Ooi https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33174 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33174 Sun, 04 Jul 2021 10:07:36 -0700 [In a Prayer Circle in May, amid India's covid crisis, Marian and Aslinur offered a powerful Sufi prayer. Below is a lightly edited transcript and video of their offering.] Aslinur: As-salaam alaykum, dear sisters and brothers, may peace, compassion, and blessings of the divine be upon us on all the creations and creatures. Marian: It's our great honour to be here, with all of you in this beautiful circle of companions. We are in Istanbul, and we are three days before the end of Ramadan, the holy month of fasting and prayer. So, it feels very meaningful to be having this global prayer circle here right now, at this moment, when hundreds of millions of Muslims, around the world, are already in an ongoing phase of fasting and prayer and introspection. So, our intention in sharing this prayer is also linking in, with this whole field of prayer, that has been going on since the beginning of Ramadan. And just to share very briefly, one of the meanings of the word Ramadan, it comes from the Arabic root Ra ma dha and it means the scorching heat of the sun. The Sun, you must imagine the desert Plains of Arabia, so that kind of scorching heat and the idea is really, that heat, that burns away the ego and burns away all the impurities in the human being and Ramadan being really a time, towards that goal. And also, I think, reflecting on the times we are in right now, we are in a time of intense heat, globally with the pandemic, but also looking at what has been happening in Jerusalem, or what is going on in Afghanistan, right now. So we are keeping all this in our consciousness and especially sending our prayers to mother India and I will pass it to Aslinur to presence, and give a context around the prayers that we will be chanting for you. Aslinur: First of all, thank you a lot for inviting us here into the space and giving us the opportunity to express our humble prayers, for those who passed away, for those who are suffering, and for those who are at the threshold. I would like to ask you to have a glass of water with you, because in the Islamic tradition, we believe water is alive, as everything is alive, and it has a memory. So, whenever we chant and pray, we blow it into the water and then we give it to the sick people, to heal them. So, if you want, if your hearts resonate with the inspiration, then you are invited to have a glass of water with you, during the prayers. First of all, we will start with Fatihah. It is the heart of the Koran and the opener of the spaces. And then we will offer a small Zikr ceremony. Zikr means remembrance and it means remembering that everything is one and it is one body and one soul, and we are not separate from each other. And there is nothing but only the divine being that exists. And we are just the containers and spaces and fields that the divine attributes and names are emerging and manifesting itself. So, all the chants we are chanting, they are divine names and hopefully inshallah, they will be activating the healing, compassion, kindness, and protective energy. And then we will finalize with Salawat, which is the blessings of prophet Mohammed, may peace be upon him, who is the source of all the light and all the blessings for us. So, if you are ready, we can start. “Bismillaah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem," in the name of God, who is compassionate and merciful, like a loving mother to all of us. Bismillaah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem Al hamdu lillaahi rabbil ‘alameen Ar-Rahman ar-Raheem Maaliki yaumid Deen Iyyaaka na’abudu wa iyyaaka nasta’een Ihdinas siraatal mustaqeem Siraatal ladheena an ‘amta’ alaihim Ghairil maghduubi’ alaihim waladaaleen Aameen Ya shafi, the healer, ya kafi , the one who is enough for everything, ya muafi , the protector, ya allah . Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi - Ya Muafi, Ya Allah Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi - Ya Muafi - ya Allah Ya Shafi - Ya Kafi - Ya Muafi - ya Allah Ya allah, ya allah, ya allah, ya allah, Ya allah , ya allah ya allah , ya allah Allah, allah, allah, allah, allah, allah, allah Allahumma salli 'ala Seyyidinah Muhammadi-nin Nabi ummi-yi wa aala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallim [Or, view here in new browser window.] Aslinur: So, I hope the water, which collected all the prayers and blessings that we offered humbly from Istanbul and from the Bosphorus as well, healed the sick people, and also reach out to all the beings which need love, blessing, and healing. Aameen. May it be love. Marian: So you may drink the water and also water the soil of your land. ... Shyam Gupta https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33160 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33160 Thu, 01 Jul 2021 04:09:33 -0700 [In May's Prayer Circle, we heard a stirring song from Aryae and Wendy. Below is a lightly edited transcript of their share, along with video of the prayer.] We feel so blessed to be here with all of you as we are witnessing truth on so many levels of what is happening now and we are witnessing sacredness in this circle. In our tradition, when something is true and something is sacred, we say, Amen. And to all of you here, to all of the prayers, to all of the stories, we have been all witnessing I want to say Amen. When we saw the invite to the circle, we learned about the Indian tradition of "Besnu" which means sitting. Well, guess what, in the Hebrew tradition it's called Shiva and it's the same thing, it means sitting. Isn't that something? So the whole time, we are all sitting together. In the Hebrew tradition when a soul is in transition in between worlds, one of the things we do is we say the 23rd song. And I have some of the key words from that song that I want to screen-share. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil because you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." There is a song that uses those words. We are going to sing it once in Hebrew, once in English and once with the melody. I want to invite any of you who wants to hum the melody with us, or sing the words in English, if you happen to know Hebrew, that's good too, to join us in these ancient words and sacred prayer. [Or, view here in new browser window.] You know, there is a question what are this rod and the staff? What are they? The Rabbis and the Tom have said, the rod is when we experience hardship. The staff is when we experience support. So what is comfort? Comfort is when we know that both the rod and the staff are coming from the same place, they're all coming from God. And may the Holy one bring the wings of healing and peace to all. Peace, Shalom, Namaste. ... Rupali Bhuva https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33152 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33152 Tue, 29 Jun 2021 22:29:50 -0700 A couple weeks back, a crew of us gathered for a stirring conversation with Dr. Maki Kawamura, on her powerful experiences with the dying and their loved ones. A pediatrician, global peace leader, mother of three, founder of the House of Joy Center for cancer patients and Here and Now Hospice, Maki's depth of experience and spirit of service disarmed all of us as we listened to her palpable stories, wisdom, and heart. Thanks to some incredible transcribing elves, below is a lightly edited summary and partial transcript of the conversation, which spanned topics such as: What does dying teach us about living? What questions come to life on one's deathbed? What are the most common experiences people face at the end of life? What am I least willing to let go of, and why? How do the values of loved ones who've departed live on in our lives? ---------- Dying can be a beautiful experience; although often viewed in somber, painful, or uncertainty, it is natural and inevitable. Maki began with the inspiration of her grandfather. At the age of six, the image of him attached to life support machines at the end of his life etched into her memory. "I couldn't believe that he was the same person,” she says. From that moment, a small seed was planted in her heart, and would continue into a lifelong quest spurred by the inquiry: "How can we die in peace?" During summers as a teenager, Maki served in a hospice full of laughter and saw a way to heal the fear. She says, “I saw a man die while watching TV, so peacefully and no one realized he had died.” She aims to make that path a reality for everybody. That quest led her to medical school to become a physician. She sees how important it is to savor one's values to the end, and to have caregivers and loved ones understand and respect what you value until the end. Maki designs hospice and palliative care for the people with life-limiting illness to live fully and as comfortably as possible. The hospice provides a caring environment for those dying of cancer. It is not a medical facility, but a place to help people to choose their own way of life and medical care -- a place to give hope to people in pain. They help those battling recurrent anxiety over their deteriorating health and impending death. People come to the hospice voluntarily. Some of the people just come and read books. Some come and talk about what they are feeling. Some try workshops that let them realize what they enjoy or what they like. People come solemnly. She says, “We listen and find out what they like to do, or what do they value in life ... Their faces relax and start to shine when they talk about what they like, or what they value.” Maki pointed out that the Japanese characters for both "joy" and “painful and tough” are almost identical. The only difference is that “joy” has one last horizontal stroke. You matter to the last moment of your life. We do all we can to help you die peacefully, but also to live until that happens. Live well until you die; living and dying are so close... Questions and Answers Maki: One lady shut her eyes upon entering the hospice, saying, “I will spend my last days here. I don't want to be here.” We told her, “This is your place. This is your room. Open your eyes and I hope we can meet." She then opened her eyes but her face was stiff. Every day, we talked to her: “What do you like? What do you value? We're here to support your life, not your death.” After a few weeks, she said, “Because I'm here, I want to live. I'm happy every day. I am not attached to my life, just I want to enjoy myself until the end of my days, as much as possible. I want to live, so please be with me.” This shift happens. At first, people think that they're here to die, but it's not that they're here to die, but they're here to live. Q: Your hospice has supported 200 individuals in the first year of its operations. The dying process is so different in different people. Are there any particular experiences of people's departures that stand out to you? Maki: People’s wishes vary. For example, I used to think relieving people's physical pain was a positive thing. I assumed that all people would want to ease their physical pain. Then, I met a man who refused to take painkillers. “Why not let me alleviate your pain?" I asked. “I have done bad things and my son knows that. The message I want to leave my son is that people who do bad things suffer at the end,” he explained. People choose different options, depending on what they value. In another case, one woman was violently vomiting. There are medical ways to stop the vomiting. I wanted to help her but she refused my offer. “Why?" She replied, “I want to die in a pure body, and for me, vomiting is letting go of impurities.” This lady vomited until her death. Our staff and her family felt difficult emotions as we witnessd this wish being carried out. We have to honor the dying person’s wishes. This particular woman thanked us so much at the last stage of her life, for letting her do what she wanted. Another woman had brain cancer. She was in her twenties. When she came to our hospice, she could not eat and she was wheelchair-bound. After a few weeks, she started eating and moving her legs. We took x-rays or CT scans. Her tumor had shrunk. I was so happy, and I thought she could go home and live her life. I went to her room to share the good news, but her face became sad and she said, “I don't want to live. That's why I came here.” What is good and bad can differ from person to person. I realized that I need to listen to people, and value what they value, and not presume what's good for them. Taking away their agency may cause further suffering. Some patients are very kind and accept our offers, because they want to make us happy. That's why I created this kind of space -- to know what people value at the end, and to help them live peacefully until the last moment. Still, in Japan, talking about death and dying is very difficult, so I'm trying to find a space to talk about life values. It's important not to wait until the decline to death has advanced before having this conversation. Let's talk about how we want to die when we are healthy and have hope. Let's get used to talking about dying. Let's normalize it so when the last stage comes, we don't need to talk about it, and we will know how to best proceed and can accept it. There was a woman who had been living abroad for long time. Then, her mom was diagnosed with cancer, so the woman came back home. She brought her mother to our hospice at the very last stage. This woman had enjoyed her time with her mother, but now her mother was unable to talk or move like before. She said, “My mother is losing her role as my mother, more and more each day, because she's unable to do things. She's unable to talk to me like my mother. Even if she can't do or say anything, my mother is my mother. I honor her and continue to love her for who she was to me.” Another woman admitted that our hospice couldn’t do what she wanted, so she was feeling heavy and tired. When night came, she slept because it was night and each day passed without her doing anything she wanted to do. Her life lost its meaning. [...] In response to this, my colleague said that, until the last day of our lives, we are in the process of becoming ourselves -- realizing new things and understanding ourselves more deeply. That is a meaningful reason to embrace life. If we are able to notice something that we didn’t notice yesterday, and if that happens every day, then there is a meaning to life. We can evolve until our last moment. This particular woman asked, “What is the meaning of my life?” She did not have that question the day before; and this new question brought meaning to her existence … We can learn more about ourselves every day until the last moment of our lives. Especially in a hospice, people are not able to do what they want to, and subsequently they feel like they're losing themselves. Also, they sometimes do not say what they want to say. Knowing yourself includes knowing the negative sides of yourself, or what we may think of as negative. For example, I may feel that letting people feed me is negative, and that makes me rigid; but, I need to accept it. When you are able to accept your weaknesses or dark sides -- and when the people who support you accept them, too -- true healing occurs. This healing really helps you. If you can heal yourself by this kind of experience at the last stage of your life, you can die peacefully, with acceptance and love for yourself. Struggles can be resolved. We learn so much through struggles. We learn what we did not know before the adversity appeared in our lives. We can come to thank the struggles for furthering the process of understanding ourselves. The hospice is a healing place for the patient, their loved ones, and our staff. A gift is like a dance, where you don't know who is giving and who's receiving. [...] When you have a baby, and the infant tries to stand and walk; the child falls again and again, perhaps bumping into the corner of a table, because that infant wants to try to stand up and experience walking. I feel pained to observe the falling, but at the same time, I know that this is what the baby wants to do and I support that, because this is a natural process . If I don't want to witness this hurt, I might belt him into a seat; that way, my child is spared pain of injury. I feel better, but is this really the best solution? What is true love? Dying calls for repeatedly listening to the one who is dying -- what they want and to try to honor their wishes… In life, we experience all kinds of experiences in this physical body, then, once we die, we lose our physical body and we're not able to experience pain or sadness. We go into a different dimension. Some staff may feel pained to witness suffering as somebody dies. We try to talk and heal ourselves so that we are not we’re not wounded and can heal others. It’s very important to listen; there's this old lady who came to our hospice who told me that she wanted to die. She said, “Please, I don't want to live anymore. Please, help me die.” Even though that was her wish, that's not something I can do, but I can listen. I wanted to know why she wanted to die. What was her suffering? Where did it come from? Once she confided her true feelings, those feelings may change. She told me she wanted to see her son, but he didn't visit. This was her suffering. This is why she wished to die. We listen to that and then worked on that instance of suffering. We were able to make a path where she stopped desiring death and was able to live. Through being listened to, her suffering dissolved. So it's very important to listen. I ask myself: 'Am I listening to shallow wishes, or the deeper yearning beneath the words?' We try to recognize core values of each individual’s life. Q: What other facets of your life are there besides hospice? You are a pediatrician and you currently serve as the director of a peace foundation, where, every year (when it's not a pandemic), tens of thousands of people gather at the foot of Mount Fuji to pray for world peace. How does your experience as a doctor and peace leader also tie into your work in supporting those who are dying and vice versa? Maki: I deeply connect with what I do. I pray everyday. We all have a divine spark within us, every human being. Our hearts have windows …When you meditate and have silent time alone, shutting yourself from outside world, you can connect deeply to your own self. I always know that I have spark within myself. It's important that I don't judge myself and that I am able to connect deeply with who I am. Once I can connect deeply with who I am, I can connect deeply with who you are, and with people who are in great pain or suffering. They test you to see how serious you are, or how committed … I am able to connect deeply to people who are in front of me because I always practice connecting deeply to my myself, so by creating peace within myself I can create peace outside of myself and create peaceful connections with people around me. I test myself and exercise myself and then from that feedback with my heart, I can develop new kind of programs. Q: About twenty some odd years ago, when my father was very close to dying. He was not in any kind of hospice. My brother and I wanted to move him to where he could get care, because he was living by himself. I asked him, “What if you're walking across the street and get hit by a truck?” and he said, “I’d rather get hit by a truck than be confined someplace where I'm not free to do what I want." You spoke bout how important it is to listen to the dying person's wishes. But what if their wishes conflict with their safety? How do you respond? Maki: This happens. We have hospice, House of Joy cancer center, and home care. This is very difficult. If the individual cannot live safely along at home, we need to ask him to come to our place. We create a schedule with a family, so that the individual can go home during the weekends, or when the if the family has holiday, we can send him home for a week or so. I am thinking of creating another place for people where there are nurses and volunteer supporters. Right now, we can only go to certain houses twice a day, in the morning and in the afternoon, just 30 minutes each time, because there are so many people we need to support… If the individual is able to live safely under these circumstances, we try to provide enough support for them to stay home. But if they are not able to stay at home safely, then we have to ask them to come to the hospice. We talk with their families. Even if someone might die at home, some families want to keep that person at home. We try to create a situation with nurses coming twice a day. We cannot be sure that that person will be safe, when we are not there, but if that's okay with the family and the patient, then we choose that path. We try to allow that person to do as much as possible, while keeping them safe. There is a physiological process people go through when they are dying. First, your muscular energy shuts down and next homeostasis shuts down like your kidneys lose function, and then your heart and lungs shut down. Lastly, the brain … it's much, much more complicated, but usually it goes down this way so I explain this to families. What is the death and dying process? What can you do at this stage? I explain that dying is like when babies are born. They sleep all the time, and they only drink milk. Then, when they are a little bit bigger, they are able to sit. When there are little bigger yet, they're able to crawl and then stand up, and eventually, walk. They start with just milk and then they can drink vegetable juices and then, soft food and at last solid food. The dying process this process in reverse. At first, people can stand and walk, but next, they are unable to walk anymore. Then, they are unable to stand. They just sit. Lastly, the individual is in bed awake, unable to speak and sleeping most of the time. They will be in grief for sure, but it's very important that they are not losing things that they are able to do, especially when they are still able to move and talk. It is important for the family to know that there is a limited time when the patient is able to move. At that stage, I recommend taking them places, to restaurants, traveling and then, when they're bedridden but still able to talk, I recommend families to talk a lot. The family needs to prepare for the time to come, when their loved one will be able to listen, but unable to answer anymore. They will be angry, but it's very important that they feel the dying person feels they have done what they want to do during this last stage. Eventually, acceptance comes, and talk, and at last, the sleeping stage starts when they're unable to talk anymore. ... When a patient is unable to speak anymore, they're listening. When they die, the physical body is gone and, likewise, the person doesn't speak back to you. Q: How do we create space for conversations around death and what one values in families? In some countries, it is considered taboo to put a family member in palliative care. Maki: I created value cards to help facilitate conversations around this. In Japanese, we have 49 values. “What do you value in your life?” is big question, so hard to answer. We need kind guidance to speak about what we value in our lives. These are colorful cards, facilitating conversations about death and dying by putting cards in front of you and stating your values. On the back of each card, there's a deeper question like, “What is the most painful experience that you have had?” You can consider what kind of pain hurts the most, spiritual pain or emotional or physical? Using these cards, I encourage families members to talk about death and dying, and I hope that people have these kinds of conversation before getting sick with a terminal illness, because it is much easier. A conversation on death and dying is not necessarily painful or dark. Rather, it can be something that lets you connect deeply with a loved one. And, later on, you are able to hold this conversation anytime in your life with anyone. [...] Some families in Japan feel that they are supposed to take care of their elderly and dying parents at home. If they want to, that's good, but if they think they're supposed to, it becomes very difficult. One man took three months off to care for his dying mother. He took really good care of her, changing diapers feeding her and so on. He became so tired waking up at night to take her to the toilet. He was so focused on taking physical care of his mother that he became too tired for any precious mother-and-son conversations that could be very meaningful at the end of his mother's life, so there wasn't space for the grieving process to happen. He finally admitted his mother to our hospice because he had become overwhelmed and depressed taking care of his mother by himself. When he brought his mother in, he felt so sorry for her. After one week, he confided in me. He said, “I was not a professional changing diapers, bathing and feeding my mother. She is so happy, because, now, professionals can do these things so painlessly, neatly, and quickly. I am deeply thankful because now I am able to rest at night; and, in the morning, I am able to smile at my mother and connect deeply with her." Taking care of loved ones at the end, and letting others help you is important, because they're there to support you. Getting help creates time to smile, and smiles are very important. :) So I talk to families facing difficult choices, and ask them to consider what makes their dying loved one smile, and try to create a situation that makes that person smile. If your mother prefers you to take care of her, and she's smiling, then I think she can stay at home. But if your mother is starting to have a stiff face, then it's time to think about changing the care responsibilities. It is very important to listen and observe facial expressions to see what is good for the dying person. There was this young lady who was around 30 years-old, taking care of her mother, who had brain cancer when she was about 60 years-old. She was told that her mother had six months to live, so she left her job to care for her mother. That was five years ago. One week a month, she rests but when she was in our hospice, the daughter confessed, “I am 30 years-old, and I haven’t worked or had a life outside of this care routine for five years. I don't know how long this will take; and I hate to say this, but I am hoping she will die soon. I don't know where that hope came from." This woman needs to consider her own happiness, because surely her mother wants her to be happy as well. While it's important that you value your parents, to be a good caregiver, you need to also value yourself. Q: Are there common regrets people have about their lives at the end? Also, how do you talk to children about death? Maki: I also wish to know how this taboo about talking about death came to be. :) Maybe because it was taken away from home to the hospital, so we can no longer witness the process. I cannot answer these questions right now. I hope, in future I can. In Japan, there was a survey where 70% of respondents expressed regret over not trying more things in their lives. The didn't regret things they did, even if it they made mistakes or hurt somebody … at the House of Joy, when the people are diagnosed with cancer, they say something like "I'm 50 years old, I'm working, and after I retire, I wanted to go traveling, but now I have terminal cancer. I regret that I did not travel. I recommend children spend time with the elderly so that they can witness the process of decline… so they can understand it, not through reason or intellect, but from the heart. I hope young people can all experience what it means to age, and what it means to not be able to do things anymore, and that it's natural to die and to not fear death. Children also need to feel that it is okay to talk about death and dying and and that they can talk about their feelings about death and dying in a relaxed atmosphere. I like to use value cards to listen to what they value in their lives because we don't know we our lives will end. At a young age, children think that they are one unit with their mothers, so when they fall, they look at their mothers to know how to react. This happens up to around the age of five. They don't cry right away, but look at their mothers for cues on how to react, because they feel they are one unit. Then, by the time they are eleven or twelve, they start to understand that they are separate different beings from their mothers, and they start to understand that their mothers most probably will not be with them forever -- that, one day, their mothers will pass away. This seed of a thought generates fear about death, because the thought of losing one's mother can be terrifying to a child. It is so important that you are able to have that talk with children, to ease their minds and let them express their fears. When a child asks you about this, we want to be prepared so that we can be able to answer. How we react to our own fear sets a benchmark for them. Children either will come out of that conversation feeling, “Oh, I should not talk about this anymore, because it upsets mom." Or, they can come out of it feeling at peace with things. Q: My sister was pronounced dead, but an hour later her heart beat came came back with normal blood pressure for a further 12 hours then she died. How do you explain that? Maki: I believe people choose the time and situation to die, I truly believe that. I've seen some families arrange a 24-hour bedside vigil, taking shifts. Then, in the minutes when they are changing shift, the individual passes. The families are like, "Why did that happen? We didn't want her to be alone in dying, so we were there, but in those two minutes, she left us." Some patients do not want to show their weakness or show how much pain they are in. I believe that they choose the time to quietly face their own deaths by themselves. Some patients become well, so they need to be transfered to a different place. For example, one lady really liked our space, and was so sad when she heard she had to go to different facility. On the day that she was supposed to move, her heart stopped. Some patients tell me, "I think I'm going to die," when their departure time draws near; or that a close family member (who has already passed away) has appeared to guide them to the other side. The last physical sense we lose is hearing, so even though a dying person doesn't open their eyes or speak, they hear and receive blessings, and decide when to go. Q: What about the regrets and grief when you can't do anything, perhaps due to situations and protocols? (For example, my mother caught Covid-19 and a doctor insisted on hospitalization. We got her a hospital bed, but the hospital was short-staffed and could not accept visitors. We were dependent on the doctors … we followed the doctor’s orders, then my mother died, and we are left wondering if she wanted to say something before leaving, but we were not there by her side. I can’t help thinking it would have been better not to have sent her to the hospital.) Maki: Covid-19 victims are healthy, then all of a sudden they are fighting severe symptoms. Some die. It’s a natural disaster happening to the human population that has suddenly arisen. So many just lose loved ones but are not able to physically be there for them at the end. It's very difficult to accept and understand the situation. It is important that we prepare ourselves for grieving to happen, but sometimes, it's not possible… Think back to all those times with your mother, and assemble them like a puzzle to make a whole picture of what she wanted to give to you, the words and wisdom that she wanted to give -- she has been doing that, throughout her life. It takes time. Accept and send gratitude to your mother in prayers. She was good and loving to you, so that you are feeling so much grief now. Write down all the messages, memories -- by connecting these puzzle pieces you can know much more than her last words about herself, and her love, and what her existence was to you, why she lived; a bit of her spirit, soul, existence remains with you. You can listen to her anytime you want to, anywhere; she has become closer to you … some day you may feel so much closer to her than before, because you are together with her now. Her way of dying may have stirred you to feel regretful, but her existence is not. Eventually you too will die and then you can make a different kind of connection with her. Moderators: More than 3.8 million people have died of Covid as of today (June 13, 2021); it's a really precious time we're in. To accept a person for who they are, that is a true healing, and to appreciate oneself. No one here has experienced death, and we are all going to, which means that there is no right and wrong answers to the topics of death and dying. Let’s voice and accept the range of feelings on the topics of death so we can totally be free from labels and say anything we want to say. ... Meghna Banker https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33143 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33143 Mon, 28 Jun 2021 22:04:17 -0700 For many summers now, a crew of service-hearted youth have come together for a multi-week internship with ServiceSpace. Circling up with a team of mentors, they dive headlong into a summer-long immersion for the head, hands, and heart -- engaging in books and talks on leading with values, personal practices like meditation and acts of kindness, project work ranging from graphics to filmmaking to writing to podcasting and beyond, and sharing reflections with each other and themselves along the way. Today, we’re thrilled to begin our 2021 summer internship with a fantastic crew of a dozen interns and mentors! Even just the interns’ application responses have taught us so much already. Here’s excerpt from each intern below. Katherine, a rising 10th grader, pointed to a need for greater balance in the framing of our social narratives, and a desire to ‘be the change’ she wishes to see: … Almost everything I read about in the news is negative in some way, whether it's struggles in the government and politics, shootings occurring in different parts of the US, or hate crimes that are happening. The news almost never reports acts of kindness that happen, which is why the idea of ServiceSpace really appeals to me. Knowing that there are websites dedicated wholly to generosity acts and bringing joy into other people's lives, I think, is a great inspiration, which is why I want to intern and help with this cause. Ocean in the UK describes her experience in the untapped power of smiling as an act of service: Service to me means helping others in order to help myself. By helping others, it helps me through giving me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. I get just as much happiness through seeing someone being happy than I do being happy myself. I would / do love to be the person that makes or helps someone to be happy. This feeling that they receive may empower them to want to make someone else feel this way and therefore make them want to “pay it forward”. … Something small that I make a big effort with is simply smiling to people I walk past in the street. I try to smile at every person because I think the human race underestimates the power of a smile. It could make someone’s day or cheer them up when they need it most. This takes no skill, just intention. Rikin further nuanced the intention behind our acts: I also hope to be able to distinguish with myself whether I'm doing something for the benefit of the most, or for the benefit of myself. It's easy to do kindness acts when there's something in it for the person doing the act, but I want to be able to distinguish when exactly I'm doing those acts for myself and when I'm doing it for others. If I'm able to acknowledge when I do it for myself compared to others, I can hopefully stop myself from doing it for myself, and convince myself that it's more beneficial to the world which can do great things if I make the kindness act for someone (or some people) rather than myself. Sanjana, our college student volunteer, described in parallel: Service to me is an action without expectation of a return. When I make breakfast for my family, offer to help a pregnant woman with her groceries, or tutor my friends in school, I do not have any expectation of a return. These actions are simply ones that I have a natural inclination toward. I love to cook, so when I wake up in the morning on the weekends, I look forward to making a nice meal for my family. At my job at a restaurant, I enjoy serving customers by offering to help carry their food to their car. It is not an included part of my job description, but instead something that I naturally find myself doing. In school, I volunteer my time to tutor students. It is not a job or anything I get paid to do, instead it is a chance for me to express my love to impart my knowledge and experience in a certain subject. In all of the acts of service that I perform, I do not expect validation, monetary return, or any other form of acknowledgement. Any return I do receive is always an unexpected, pleasant surprise. The only thing I undoubtedly receive from service is happiness. I receive happiness because I am doing something I like, and because I get to make someone else smile. In my opinion, service is only truly service when one receives happiness with no expectations of anything in return. Prisha, one of our 15-year-olds, is looking forward to meditating this summer! Specifically... Another thing I wanted to gain from this experience this summer is forming a proper schedule for meditation and finding time to reflect on myself while doing good deeds. I had found myself recently not really focusing on myself and slowly growing away from being involved in these kinds of opportunities, and it put me in a very stressful state of mind. Through the internship, I hope to get a lot more motivation to meditate every day again and surround myself with people with similar struggles and aspirations as me so that I can grow as a person. Annika, a rising 12th grader, also already has experience meditating! She notes: I think that stillness is best achieved through meditation and breathing, and it is something I employ in order to keep myself calm and ready for my day. Through exercise and meditation, I achieve stillness in my daily life to keep me grounded and focused. Stillness to me means a way to ground your body physically and/or mentally, in order to be your best self and allows you to achieve the best version of yourself. Alakh, our resident national youth cricket player, :) describes inner transformation as: Inner transformation is change that roots in the heart and in the soul. I feel inner transformation is what really changes a person. I believe that everything on earth has a vibration. This vibration is connected to a universal energy, which can be referred to as fate, god, or the all knowing. For me, when inner transformation occurs, it affects the soul. The soul is bound to its vibration, and the vibration is bound to universal energy. So indirectly, inner transformation is a force so great, it alters ever so slightly the entire universal energy. And in addition to these rocking interns, we’re also thrilled to have a remarkable crew of mentors: Anne, Brian, Daniela, Swara, Tim, and Vicky! We look forward to seeing what this summer holds in store! ... Swara Pandya https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33147 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33147 Mon, 28 Jun 2021 06:44:41 -0700 As I come to the end of this 2 week Noble Friendships Pod experience, I notice a commitment in myself to carry forward what I've gained and make this ending a new beginning. I noticed over the weekend that sometimes when my ego gets challenged, it causes me to not draw upon the highest aspects of myself that I would otherwise have access to. This is particularly the case when it's challenged around the idea of what is good for the collective. It's not because there's actual protection of others; that's just the story it's hiding within. That's the self-righteousness that justifies its egoic response, despite all the progress I've made in not indulging it in other contexts. I am calling myself up to a greater level of integration between my capacity to be a noble friend and my willingness to when people aren't behaving as I think they should and I perceive someone is being hurt by that. I am embracing a deepening in my understanding of non-violence, and increase in my capacity to embody non-violence. I am praying for a strengthening of my faith in the power of love to bring justice, protection, healing and growth to all, as well as the important role I can play in being a conduit for that. "Lord make me an instrument of Thy peace." I am welcoming an expansion of the love that is my nature, so that it fills all the places in my 'field of being' as it touches the world. And as an offering. A gift, which the recipient gets to choose whether they unwrap, and when. This open-handed, gentle giving, this is what I choose to create a new habit of offering as part of the programming of my field. I rest in loving appreciation for all the generous, vulnerable, courageous, honest sharing of everyone who has offered and/or created content within this 2 week developmental journey. And also for all the organizing and technology it takes to give all that content shape in a form that's easy enough for people to take in and be changed by it. Thanks also to the ancestors, guides, spirits and teachers who have shown up from each of our 'teams' to bless and benefit us all. May we continue to bless one another, both in physical realm and in non-physical, through time and into the timeless, as noble friends. Namaste. ----- Originally posted in Noble Friendships Pod. ... Indigo Ocean https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33130 https://servicespace.org/blog/view.php?id=33130 Tue, 22 Jun 2021 07:07:47 -0700